To think single mothers aren’t always “strong” - just unsupported?

[HardyDenimUser]

There’s this trope of the heroic single mum. But “doing it all” because you have to isn’t the same as thriving. Can we stop glorifying struggle and admit some of it is just brutally hard and unsustainable?

I’m a single parent, don’t think I’ve ever been glorified. I’ve been judged, blamed, people have low expectations of my children’s ability to succeed as they are from a ‘broken home, my children are stereotyped, and people often look down on me from a great height, but so far not glorified. But yes. I agree, it’s never ending and you’re right brutal and exhausting.

I agree. I'm not strong, I just have no bloody alternative.

I was a strong woman before I had children
I was a strong woman when I was married with children
I am a strong woman now I’m a single mother

🤷‍♀️

I have never felt that I have been glorified
Nor judged for being a single mother in any sense whatsoever

Yeh I am a strong individual for my cards handed as a young child.
I am a strong independent woman because I know men just by the look of them.
I am a strong single parent because I would rather not added stress from a lying man who will cause me more stress

wow this is interesting ive never seen ANYONE glorifying single mums! In fact the absolute opposite.

Never glorified but definitely judged!

Never ever been glorified as a single parent . I've been strong because I had no choice and I had two children relying on me.

This was my experience too, in the 90s and 00s. Relentlessly.
They are all highly successful, great relationships and careers, and all acknowledge it was down to their upbringing. I’d have preferred it without the struggle, but the struggle was worth it.

Agree. I've been told over the 20+ years that I have been a single parent "oh, I don't know how you do it, you're so strong / together / organised / tough" (insert other words to suggest I am made of something slightly greater than ordinary).

I wouldn't describe it is glorifying but I do understand what you are getting at @HardyDenimUser I think that by suggesting that an individual is somehow imbued with a superpower, we are detracting from the fact that the single parent is doing the jobs of two people all by themselves.

Thanks be to goodness my DC are adults now, but I look back at the years when I was trying to get them to different nurseries, schools, after school clubs, work full-time, feed them, do homework with them, keep them clean, their clothes clean and live in a house that wasn't a filthy pigsty and I wonder how the fuck I didn't crumble out of existence.