Do I have a low libido?

[Electrictooth]

Do I have a low libido? DP and I have sex maybe once a week. I rarely say no to him but I rarely ask either because honestly I could live without it most of the time. He knows this and I think this makes him reluctant to ask even though I’ve said it’s not a problem for us to shag even when I’m not horny.

The thing is I just don’t feel the need very often. I’m 39 now and I never have really. It’s nice and everything, and I sometimes feel the urge when I’m ovulating which is obviously nature’s way, but that’s about it.

In my single periods I’ve gone years without and been fine.

What is a normal libido??

I think there is a very wide range for 'normal', especially in women because of hormone cycles etc. I don't know what's average but I don't think you sound abnormal.

I read an interesting thing recently about how for a lot of women their desire for sex is responsive. So they might not feel spontaneously horny very often in the way that men tend to, but if sex / foreplay is initiated (obviously respectfully and with consent etc) then they will experience desire for sex in response to that initiation and go on to enjoy it.

Are you enjoying it when you’re doing it? If so then at once a week you’re pretty average. If you could happily go a year without then you might have a low libido but you still seem to feel something so it’s fine. All these people going on about their hyperactive sex lives are in the weird top 5% of oversexed people and it only seems normal because they bang on about it all the time but in the real world what you’re describing is very normal

Compared to me you’re quite a sexpot having it once a week!

I think there is a massive range in “normal” libido but once a week is pretty standard.

I have sex about once every two years but for reasons other than low libido.

I do enjoy it. But mainly because he enjoys it.
I could happily go long periods without sex. Orgasms a bit more frequently required but even then not like these people seemingly doing it all the time.

I think the ‘once a week’ thing is misleading. I have sex once a week because DP wants it. If he didn’t ask or make a move I could happily go months without. Years probably!

Have you ever explored your sexuality? You could be attracted to women or asexual. Have you seen your Dr to find out if there's a physical reason?

I’m neither of those things.

So you feel sexual desire but just not towards your husband?