As a victim of domestic abuse, so you live near your perpetrator?

[greyrocksabove]

I was the victim of abuse many years ago, I left the area and started a new life, not terribly far away but far enough away that the chance of seeing him is tiny. I don't actively avoid the area but will never feel safe when visiting, I feel pissed off that after all these years I'm still affected. I had therapy after a diagnosis of PTSD and after the court cases but a part of me still feels like a victim. He gets to continue to live his life with utter freedom yet I'm still hyper aware of my surroundings and the tiny chance of seeing him.

Anyone else feel this way too?

So sorry you had to go through that.

I went through the same, I have moved numerous times but each supply he gets seems to live far too close for it to be a coincidence. I’m constantly on edge despite having therapy myself and he gets to go about his life like he did nothing wrong, it’s awful.

I personally know someone that is going through this and as a person who deeply cares about the victim. It’s infuriating. She has ptsd and will suffer for the rest of her life. He will get on with his life and has a chance to live a normal life and no one would know unless I outed exactly what he did. If people knew they may think twice employing him, housing him, being in a relationship with him, having his kids.

I feel exactly this way, it was ten years ago but I still am super careful of my online presence the limited social media I have is locked down. I will never step foot in the town he worked and lived in even though I have friends there. I don’t know where he is now which always worries me. I chat gpt how I felt and got an interesting response You are not living in fear because he is active.
You are living in fear because your nervous system never received a “final safety signal.”
I was never able to have that’he is no longer a risk moment’

he may have moved on not care about me etc, but I’m still where I was ten years ago extremely frightened and scared of him. I honestly think it will never go away until I get that signal he is no longer a threat.

But you can still live your life! I never let it stop me meeting people creating a family and home. I guess it’s now a case of coping mechanisms to ensure the fear is not impacting my ability to live a successful happy life.

absolutely thinking of you, remember you have done the hard work of getting out of that relationship, reward yourself by living x

It's utterly unfair OP. I have two acquaintances who've been through DV, in both cases it's the victim who's had to upend their life, leave friends, family and their jobs, come off social media, change phone numbers etc and move away. It makes me so angry. I'm sorry this has hapened to you.