To think guilt is a useless emotion?

[ThatLilacZebra]

I know it’s meant to help us reflect or change our behaviour but in practice it often just keeps people stuck - going in circles, beating themselves up, and not actually doing anything useful.

AIBU to think guilt rarely leads to growth, and that shame or regret can be more productive because they push people to act?

Guilt also stops people from murdering the nearest annoying child or stealing everything from the shops.

It's like anything, some guilt is fine, too much or not enough guilt can be bad for you.

I voted you're not being unreasonable but I think it totally depends on the circumstances. I mean it can help people change and grow, but when I'm sitting here feeling guilty about things that aren't or weren't even my fault, then yes that's a total waste and it drives me insane

Guilt is a useful thing if you learn from it and move on. Not so much if you hang on and wallow in it, then it just becomes destructive.

YABU. Without guilt you wouldn’t have a conscience.

Not good for you, not good for others. We don’t need more psychopaths thanks.

Appropriate guilt is good and healthy. If you do wrong, you should feel bad, reflect on it, make amends and change your ways. Inappropriate guilt isn’t healthy. It’s a matter of having the skills necessary to discern the difference, not chucking the baby out with the bath water.

Oh, and I don’t agree with you that shame causes people to act. Where guilt is us appraising ourselves as doing wrong, Shame is where we think we are wrong. At core, we are defective.

So there’s not always possibility of growth and change. So people stay stuck and don’t change.

It’s not guilt that stops me doing those things, it’s being a kind and good person who understands that children who are annoying don’t deserve harm.

Guilt doesn’t stop those who wants to murder children or steal.

I don’t not murder children because I would feel guilty if i did.

This exactly. Guilt is a moral early warning system: it alerts you to the fact that you've crossed a red line. If you act on it and correct the behaviour it's quite useful.

The problem is too many people use it as a way to flagellate themselves, often leading them to ignore the opportunities to actually grown and move on.