To think about writing a book around my crazy life?!

[itsokayokay]

So I’ve been talking to some colleagues today, just general chit chat but it ended up going down the route of my life and how crazy it’s been.

I’m only young but ive been through a lot in my life 🫠 and recently managed to escape a very narcissistic ex and horrendous marriage, full of control, emotional issues etc.

my colleague very seriously suggested that I think about writing and publishing a book - and it really did get me thinking…

Ive always loved reading, I have an English lit & lang degree, and I adore writing (copywriter by trade)

I guess my question is, where and how would I start?! Is it really feesable and is there a market for actually making money from all the work you put into writing?

Also, is someone’s literal life story something you would want to read? Granted it’s pretty full on and dramatic 🤣

I would love to hear opinions please!

“Feesable”?

Might be, unlikely though. Judging by threads on here and people in real life, everyone has a handful of narcissistic exes. In fact we’re apparently overrun with narcissists these days.

Any mention of that and I would stop reading tbh.

Ps I usually read true crime / history so this would be a whole new genre and topic for me!

@CountryQueenCompletely understand that!

What makes your story unique? It's not clear from what you have posted.

People used to say the same to me and I did think about doing a similar thing (I have no interest in writing which is why I didn't) but as I got older and met more and more people who had different stories to me but I also found just as dramatic and full on.

So I'm not sure if it's one of those things people just say - I've heard it said to different people.

Personally I wouldn't be interested in reading it if it's just about your life, no offence but I don't know you and it just wouldn't interest me. I love true crime and if you wrote it as a fictional book and made it really interesting then maybe but you'd have to add stuff etc but then it wouldn't be a story of your life.

Write a manuscript then seek our a literary agent who specialises in that field. They will secure a publishing deal.

alternatively, write a manuscript, find a copy editor and look into self publishing.

the first bit - the manuscript- however, is crucial!

Write a synopsis and a couple of chapters. Send it to some publishers and see what the response is.

I’ve literally not considered anything about how / what exactly I’d write. It’s just a thought that’s stemmed from a conversation this afternoon.

I guess the fact my whole life for the last 12 years has been controlled down to the money I earned, spent, where I lived, what I did, who I spent time with.

I know that isn’t unique as such, as others go through the same - but it’s what I’d write based upon.

It could be a very helpful book to warn people. I imagine it will help you in the writing of it and then other people would be able to learn from it. I hope that you give it some thought OP. If it does get published let everyone know on MN. Best wishes, it could prevent a few from taking up with a person like your ex.

This was more along the lines of what I was thinking.

Ive wasted SO much of my life on the wrong person, and im now learning to find myself again. It’s been a journey!

After your update I was going to say that your situation isn't unique and I think you'd be how surprised how common it is.

However, I've just read this comment and it's not a bad idea. You could do something along these lines. It's not something I'd be interested in reading but there may be some people interested.

Personally, that wouldn't interest me as it is sadly all too common and I have read many books and articles on along that kind of theme.

Agree,
what is the originality of your story ?
the story arc ?
we have nothing to go on here to comment, other than you have a crazy life - what ? Like mental illness ?
You met a narcissist?
who hasn’t ? Do u have insight into what a narcissistic personality disorder actually looks like, or is it just a turn of phrase like ‘crazy life’ ??

Sorry I don’t think I was particularly clear - it wouldn’t be written in the sense that it’s me writing about my life in a first person. I’d prefer to make it more fiction based, with a storyline following my life events.

I haven’t mentioned much about my past on here as some of it is extremely raw and difficult to revisit, but I also thought perhaps writing would be a way to vent out some of that.

I have spent the majority of my life being asked "Are you going to write a book?" because my father was a writer.
Answer...nope. No one would be interested, it's bloody hard work, it doesn't make financial sense and no way would I expose myself to that sort of gawping!

Op, I forgot to add Well done for letting yourself be free from such a person. The fact you achieved that says something about you. It would seem that not everyone is able to leave sounds awful. I am sure you are happier now than when all of this was going on.

I wouldn’t read it, sorry. Breaking up with an ex doesn’t make your life “crazy” or interesting in any way, at least not for others. Btw, everybody calls their ex narcissistic nowadays. Based on that, the whole world is narcissistic, it seems. If you are not a qualified psychiatrist and can’t establish an official diagnosis, then please don’t.
Stories like yours are one-a-penny and I can read them right here on Mumsnet.

Not just a narcissistic ex, there’s a lot more that has happened than this, but that is a big part of my life.

i know I’ve probably not written my post particularly well, it’s just an idea following from the conversation I had.

" what makes your story unique "

Says some ....

There are no unique stories ,it's not about the story it's about how you write it.

I don’t really want to go into too much detail but my life and journey this far has not been easy.

I lost a parent, very traumatically at a young age

Met my ex at a young age and this shaped me hugely, I accepted his behaviours because I knew no diferent, I was vulnerable and impressionable and let huge red flags and emotional ab*se come and go as I thought it was love

My in-laws were extremely manipulative, controlling every aspect of my life for 13 years

I moved and restarted life in a whole new country to escape

this is the shell of what’s happened but obviously a LOT more than this

But isn’t this the same for everyone?

A friend of mine wrote a book about a narcissistic ex. Her agent wasn’t able to sell it although she thought it was well written as publishers weren’t looking for that at the time (approx 1 year ago). There is nothing wrong with writing about it though. It’s cathartic.

The writer Anna Wharton did a Substack post on this very topic and warned people, especially women from abusive relationships/families to be very careful about writing such pieces because of the legalities.

People often wait until people they write about have died so they aren’t sued for libel.

Do you enjoy writing? Would it be an enjoyable / worthwhile exercise to produce the story for you?

Getting a book published is hard. Getting a book published and then actually selling a decent number of books is even harder. And depends on a huge number of factors completely out of your control.

But writing - that is for you.

@MumofteenandtweenI adore writing, so I know I’d really enjoy the process, but like you say - publishing and building interesting / selling is a minefield that I am not familiar with!