To find it odd that people on here aren't honest?

[Pennyforyourthoughtsplease]

I thought being an anonymous forum this would be a great place to get feedback and advice, but what I'm finding is most people are just projecting. Opinions are always so biased, and people rarely will consider another view. Just seen a few threads where everyone is piling on OP because of their own insecurities, and I see that alot. Particularly on polarising topics, such as childcare etc

People are people and anonymity affords the dishonest and malicious great opportunity to be even more so.. Not everyone, obviously, but, as you've noticed, enough of them.

People will always speak from their own perspective and experience, no one is entirely objective

Are you saying that people may not be who they say they are on the Internet?! 😱

😂

But also, how on earth do you know what people are being honest about and what they aren't? Unless you know them in real life you're just guessing.

Are you talking about the 🌈 hair thread?
...

I totally understand we are all biased. Its just strange how people can't be gracious about things. As an example, "yes I'd love to be rich and not have any money worries". Rather they will say "I love having to scrimp and save and not knowing if I'll be able to eat next week". It's a bad example but I'm hoping it gives an example.

I suppose some people want to act like they’re someone else on here, like a fantasy. Social media is the same really, people only post the good in their lives, not that they put 5k on their credit card for that Dubai holiday now they’re broke (example no shade at anyone)

It's more how biased they are, it's hard to give a decent example without then making this thread controversial. But childcare is a good example and how people give SAHM a hard time or excessive screentime is another. I just find it so odd. Like it's anonymous, you don't need to defend your position

I would think that the anonymity is why people feel able to defend their position. And how dies that make them dishonest anyway?

That's just the nature of AIBU which asks for opinions. I mean, I'm sure not everyone is honest but disagreeing with someone doesn't automatically make them dishonest either.

Absolutely, it's more the way they disagree.

The nature of the AIBU forum is to polarise, divide and argue opposing opinions. It's not necessarily a place for advice or support.

I think it depends on how what they are disagreeing with is worded too.

A reaction is obviously going to happen if you say something like ''I don't want to send my child to nursery for other people to raise'' or ''I'm not stupid so I decided not to be a SAHM'' etc.

So someone has actually said that or did you make it up?

I don't really understand what you're trying to say based on the examples you've given tbh.

Although with the first one I can absolutely see why someone would say they're ok with not being rich. This place is a case study on how money doesn't buy happiness. There are regular threads from people on 6 figures moaning about their lot. It seems the more money you have the more financial commitments you end up with and then you're trapped on a hamster wheel where it never feels like you have enough.

I've never seen anyone say they love not having enough food to eat but I get those who say they'd rather scrimp and live within modest means than getting on that hamster wheel.

Just because you don't understand or agree with someone's point of view it doesn't mean they're dishonest?

Yeah I'm trying not to be controversial so it's not coming across well. Ok, so feeding your kids lots of processed food, people will come up with all sorts of excuses or say someone is being smug for not doing this. My stance, is well I'm actually quite lazy in this regard so my DC eats more of this than they should and its not ideal. But why not just say lots of processed food is actually bad, that's a fact. Why make excuses or try and minimise that it's a bad thing?

Some people are quite misinformed/not educated about random stuff - they genuinely believe it's actually ok, because they exist in an echo chamber where everyone thinks that.

Both things can be true in some cases such as that one though.

Of course a lot of processed food isn't ideal but some parents can absolutely be smug about it and/or completely over react and claim that a child knowing what McDonald's is = child abuse.

There's a balance which in reality most people fall within, many people are guilty of jumping to either extreme with that topic in particular.

If you are struggling to think of decent examples maybe it's not the issue you think it is?

I feel like perhaps you are guilty of assuming that everyone has the same knowledge and life experience as you therefore you assume they're lying when they post something that - to you at least - feels untrue.

I live in a very unmumsnetty area and I can absolutely believe there are people who neither know, care or believe that processed food is bad for you. And I can see where the accusations of smugness come from on that subject as people can be completely over the top about it - for example, anytime anyone mentions MacDonalds on here posters will fall over themselves to Wang on about how awful it is and they'd never eat it. Ever when the thread wasn't about that or inviting that kind of opinion.

Everyone is entitled to a viewpoint and presumably posters on this forum want to see what alternative viewpoints look like. The things that I find disappointing are how rude and aggressive some posters are and how factually ill informed some of the most strident posters are. Honesty? Not sure how you can really judge that on here.