Advice on neighbour kids

[Aeaffshb]

The neighbour kids having been knocking on my door to play with my DD which is lovely but it’s kind of annoying me now! Sundays my kids spend the day at MIL with DH so it’s my day to myself and I’ve told the kids and parents the arrangement for Sundays. One set of kids came around 11am (let’s call them number 3), then another girl came at 3pm (let’s call her number 4) , I told them again they are at grandma as every Sunday. Another from number 5( not real door number!) she came with door number 4 whom I already told they at grandparents. She came at around 7ish, I was having my dinner and I did say in an abrupt manner that my DD is not here.

I feel a little bad speaking like that but it’s so annoying! as soon as we come into the door after school during the week they come and knock on the door! My DD cries she wants to go and play which means we don’t do any homework during school day and she gets homework everyday, mostly reading but 2x a week a longer sheet or booklet to complete.

please advise me. I don’t want to give ages as will be identifying but just for context they are all in primary school.

Just don’t answer the door! They will soon get the hint

You either answer the door and explain.

or you don’t answer the door.

Put a note on the door.

Get a ring doorbell so you can see who is knocking, then don't answer if it's them

On Sat night I'd stick a laminated note on the door

"Mini aeaffshb cannot play on sunday.
please dont knock"

After a month or so they'll get the hint

Ignore the door on a Sunday but other than that I’d let her play out. Too many kids stuck indoors these days. We’re isolated and rural and my kids really missed out on this kind of social time growing up and I do regret it.

I also feel I get lumbered(sp?) with all the kids. I know no one is asking me to take care of them but I kind of feel I can’t just leave them to it I have to supervise to some extent at least. Before anyone states the obvious yes I’m aware no one is asking me to babysit them but I’m not letting my kids - youngest who is 4 wander around the neighbourhood unsupervised! I’m not judging what other parents are doing btw.

How does playing after school mean she gets no homework done?

school finishes about 3.15. Is she in wrap around care?

of not that leaves about 4 hours min between school ending and bedtime which is more than enough time to do homework, dinner shower etc and play out for an hour.

YANBU to want to control how long she is out to make sure she gets other stuff done but if she isn’t playing is she doing after school between her 15 minutes reading and occasional worksheet?

On a Sunday just don’t answer the door. You’ve said she’s not in Sundays.

Get a Ring doorbell so you can either say she's doing her homework or she's not in without having to get up and open the door!

@itsgettingweird i don’t pick my kids up till 5:30 as I’m in work and we get home around 5:45 apart from Fridays as I finish earlier

Sorry to vent but I can’t vent in RL as I will sound like an a**hole. I’m just exhausted. Work is stressful and I just feel I can’t relax in my own home. I had curtains drawn today so they wouldn’t see anyone’s home! Lol!😂 but they still knock regardless if they think anyone is in or not.

The ages will be identifying ? 😂😂

compromise - say she can play sometimes
its lovely she has kids that come round for her

i know what you all mean that it’s nice but it’s stressful as it’s not playing nicely together. There always some kind of commotion between certain kids and I feel I’m sorting out their disagreements. It’s nothing major just normal childhood things like whose turn is it to kick the ball or which game they are choosing and whose IT and whose not IT

Also someone is always crying that they are being left out! Okay it’s not as bad as I’m making it out but there are more bad days than good days tbh

I’m still feeling really uneasy about how I snapped that the kids are in grandmas home. I wish I had been a little nicer. I think it’s my anxiety making me question myself,

I agree with u - you are overthinking it -
it doesn’t sound like you have not done anything wrong -
actually with your latest update these kids sound like hard work !!

@PolyVagalNerve thank you. It’s difficult as I want DD to be involved but wish it was on our terms like certain days and times, I know I’m expecting too much!

Can you put a lock on your gate so they can't knock? If the gate is locked she's not available. If it isn't they can call to see if she wants to play. Anyone who knows you can phone to say they're coming/have arrived.

We had something funny happen today.
Back in the day, our sons would play out pretty much everyday with the other kids on our street. It could be very annoying, the calling around several times a day ‘can X play out?’
Youngest is 13 and would rather die that ‘play out’. Today one of the younger siblings called for our 13 yo to play out. Husband told her no, he's busy, yes you can pet the dog.’ We had a laugh about it - imagine 13 yo playing out with a six year old girl.
Ten minutes later, another knock, this time 3 little girls. ‘If X can’t play out, can Y?’ Y is our nearly 18 year old son.
We had a right laugh about it. No idea why they think our boys are still in primary but the face of them pulled when I told her he can’t come out and play because he’s at his part time job was priceless!

@UneFoisAuChalet 😂

Awww I think that’s so cute! But can imagine the look on your 13 year olds face!

Oh I can empathise. I have this issue with my nephews and nieces who live within the same grounds as us. To make things worse, they don’t leave when I say my children can’t play as they need to do X, Y, Z or we are heading out shortly etc etc. If mine aren’t allowed out, they insist on coming in and then I end up having to look after them all- 4/5 kids all under the age of 5 and nowhere to hide. I sound evil but there are times I keep my curtains closed and door locked in the hope that they will think I’m out as I just don’t want to have to deal with it every day. It’s never reciprocated by my sils and so even if mine are playing out with them, I have to supervise. If my door is unlocked, they let themselves in. If they see my car driving down the lane, they run out of the door to meet me in the courtyard and insist on coming home with me or for my kids to play. It’s exhausting! Safe to say we are moving out of the family grounds in the very near future as it’s all become a bit much 😅 Sorry OP no advice here just sympathy. Rant over!