Friend cancelled

[Sologal]

Friend was meant to arrive in 30 mins and has cancelled, its a legitimate excuse but I live on my own and since 6pm on Friday ive only seen one friend for about 3 hours and otherwise been alone. The food I was making for us is cooking in the oven and I was really looking forward not to have an evening alone as pretty much all my evenings are alone. I know its just one of those things but I feel a bit sad.

Sorry to hear that OP. 30 minutes before arriving is very little time and surely they would have known you’d have food cooking? Do you have a neighbour or someone close by you might also be alone and you could explain the situation and ask if they are free to come and share the already cooked food?

Thank you for replying. I feel really alone but trying not to spiral. No, I dont have any single friends, everyone is with their partners or families.

Just because your friends have partners or families doesn't necessarily mean they wouldn't like to spend a spontaneous evening with you. Don't make the mistake of thinking everyone who has a partner wants to be with them 24/7 and that you can only ever socialise with single people! Message a friend. Just say 'I know it's very short notice, but a friend has had to cancel and I'm cooking for two - would you feel like joining me and catching up?' And even if they can't make it this evening, you've laid the ground for getting together another time. Sorry you've been let down though.

So true!!

Do this op, then it’s actively taking steps for a future meet up if not tonight.

Don’t assume partnered couples don’t want time away to see friends, pp is totally correct.

What have you made?

If you’ve ’only seen one friend for 3hs since 6pm on Friday’, I suspect you can reframe things.

My guess is that you have a job where you interact with people, and you had two social events booked for the weekend (one now cancelled). That’s not ‘really alone’ at all!

This might sound unsympathetic (sorry) but I really don’t mean it to and it should be practical - but either living alone really doesn’t suit you so you could fix that with a housemate, or you can do some thinking about why a fairly normal weekend leaves you feeling like this.

That's annoying. But you're doing better than me with having seen a friend since Friday!

As others say, don't assume people with partners and kids don't want to hang out. Reach out to someone and ask if they fancy sharing your home cooked meal.

If not at least you've got something to put in the freezer for the next few meals. And then arrange to go for a drink of coffee with someone else over the next few days.

How frustrating, OP! I get that it can be really lonely living alone and if you’ve built your day around a friend coming over and gone to the effort of making food, it’s annoying you now don’t have anyone to share it with. How about joining some weekend groups, so this can’t happen? Gym classes, walking groups, choir?

30 mins notice is lame. How frustrating

Chin up, some people don't have any friends at all!

How long have you been single for @Sologal?

Sorry to hear this, would getting out for a walk, putting on a favourite film or a trip to the cinema help? It’s horrible when something you’ve been looking forward to is cancelled.

It doesn’t fix this evening, but longer term could you try joining some kind of hobby group? There’s a club for pretty much everything these days. My mom goes to a craft club. I have a book group. Lots of people do walking clubs. Get on the internet and find yourself something to have a go at.