To find my life very boring

[DaisiesandLemons]

I’m a carer for my youngest who is disabled and have been a stay at home mum for the past year - I’ll be returning to work soon. I have an older child too.

My week looks a bit like this!

Monday to Friday - get the kids off to school, clean the chaos, life admin, book appointments, study from home and occasionally nip to the supermarket and Home Bargains 🤣 Every few weeks or once a month I see a friend for a coffee.

Saturday - in the morning I take my oldest swimming and my youngest to the park, then my parents visit for a few hours.

Sunday - My youngest goes out for a few hours with his carers (2 hours) I clean, go shopping or a short walk with my oldest.

And repeat! 😴

I feel like my life is one big Groundhog Day!

I can’t do much with them after school - there’s not much in my small village and I don’t drive. I’d do anything to just nip to the beach or somewhere fun for the day. Today my oldest is out for the day with grandparents doing fun stuff and my youngest is out with his carers. At least they are having fun, I have Tescos to look forward to lol.

Very very bored! Help!

I think parents spend so much time caring for the home and children that we lose our 'self'. I felt very similar to you about 18 months ago, the DCs were becoming more independent and I found myself with actual spare time for the first time in ages and I felt so boring because I'd forgotten what it was I used to enjoy before they came along.
I'd say think about these questions:

• What did I use to enjoy before my current roles?
• What do I actually enjoy doing now, and is there a way I can do more of it?
• Do I want more social opportunities or am I just looking for something I can do at home?

Once you know what you want you can start to look for it. E.g., if you've always fancied something arty then you could try crochet, watercolour etc., and if you're looking for more social time then check out any local classes or knit and natter groups. If you've fancied something sporty, then you could build a run into your routine or look for a local walking group.

There’s not much you can do to change things up midweek other than maybe look for any local groups or activities you might enjoy? If I was childfree for the day 9-3 I’d do the cleaning etc but I’d also go for a run, go to the gym etc.

Weekends though if possible we always try to have one day for fun so this morning I took my 1 year old to a mum & baby gym class and after her nap we’re going to the aquarium. Last Sunday we did a local run in the park with her in the pram and then spent the day at that park, never been before but it was lovely. I know you say you don’t drive but what about public transport options maybe? X

Looking longer term, are you able to learn to drive?

That would definitely help! Public transport is rubbish here on a Sunday and it takes 55 minutes to get to the city/beaches or anything fun! We do have nice walks and parks here though.

Yes I do tend to go for walks or I enjoy a cycle. I think it’s more opportunities to do nice things with my children that I’m after but term time it’s hard to fit stuff in.

I think not working isn’t helping. I think I will feel better when I’m back working part time. Social media doesn’t help either as it seems full of families having the most amazing time at the beach or having lots of fun days out.

What about weekends OP? Rather than swimming & park on Saturday next week why not plan something else?

I’d get bored doing the same things every week and when you’re used to doing the same things every week even something just a bit out of the ordinary feels exciting. If you can say roughly where you are in the country people may have suggestions for days out?

I’m in south wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 I might let my oldest miss his swimming lesson and take him out somewhere fun instead/or take them both somewhere 😃 Summer holidays will be better as we won’t be so tied!