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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not pay for car damages

19 replies

Ladybuglamp · 06/07/2025 11:14

A large group of us went on a villa holiday and hired a number of cars between us to get to & from the airport / supermarket trips etc. The majority of the group were staying for a week and then some of us (including me and my husband) were just staying for a long weekend.
Those staying for the full week sorted out their car hire between them. Me and my husband hired a car separately for those of us just staying the weekend. We split the cost with those travelling in our car. We paid extra for the full insurance cover so that we wouldn’t have to worry about forking out for any accidents.
The people staying for the week didn’t get this insurance on their cars and one of them ended up having a minor accident (through no fault of his own) that caused some minor damage to the car whilst doing a supermarket run.
A few weeks after the trip, the driver of this car requested money from everyone to cover the cost of the damage in the group WhatsApp. I presumed this was just to be paid by the people who stayed for the week, as they had all booked & split their car costs together equally as a group, So I ignored the message.

A few weeks later, I was out with these friends when they reminded me I hadn’t paid them yet. I was a bit surprised and explained I hadn’t realised the “weekenders” were meant to be paying. I then explained that we had paid extra for our car to have full insurance, so it wouldn’t be fair to also be shelling out for their damages when they hadn’t bothered to get that extra insurance.
It turned into a bit of an awkward discussion as my friend wouldn’t back down on the fact that me and my husband should each contribute and pay so that she wasn’t out of pocket.
In the end, we sort of agreed we didn’t want to fall out about it and would just leave it, but I could tell they were very annoyed at me and still seem quite off with me.
I think I did the right thing by standing my ground, but can’t help but wonder if Im being mean and should have just paid?!?

OP posts:
TesChique · 06/07/2025 11:16

Wtf

Youve been had!

Cheeky fuckers

Edited as i tbiught youd paid on first reading. Good on you for not!

DoYouReally · 06/07/2025 11:16

I wouldn't have paid either - thry didn't contribute to your extra insurance cost at the outset.

CF!

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/07/2025 11:17

How much was it? You obviously don’t owe that money but if it’s a small amount I’d have paid it anyway. I’m assuming you had left when the accident happened?

CatsorDogsrule · 06/07/2025 11:17

Do you know if the other "weekend" people paid up? I of course voted YANBU, but just curious about the others.

Edited to ask, was the damage incurred when on a shopping trip for your benefit? This might sway my vote, depending on how much "your share" was too.

YellowGrey · 06/07/2025 11:21

I think YANBU not to pay, but you should have told them at the time. Wasn't it clear from the amounts involved that the cost had been split between all of you?

Ladybuglamp · 06/07/2025 11:26

CatsorDogsrule · 06/07/2025 11:17

Do you know if the other "weekend" people paid up? I of course voted YANBU, but just curious about the others.

Edited to ask, was the damage incurred when on a shopping trip for your benefit? This might sway my vote, depending on how much "your share" was too.

Edited

I rang the driver of the other weekend car after the disagreement (who also paid for the same insurance cover as us). He was also unaware that we were expected to pay and agreed that it wouldn’t be fair to do so. I’m not sure if they ever chased him up on it in the end and if he ended up paying!? I haven’t wanted to cause any drama by bringing it up again.
The accident did happen on a supermarket trip whilst we were still there though.

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/07/2025 11:31

So the person asking for money hasn’t actually asked you for money then?

WaltzingWaters · 06/07/2025 11:32

No, you absolutely shouldn’t be paying. CF’s!

teenmaw · 06/07/2025 11:40

Were they shopping for everyone including you? If they were then I guess that’s where the overlap occurs. If you were holiday ing completely separately and seeing to your own food etc, then it’s a definite no. But if they’ve been sent to do the food shop for everyone I can see why they might feel it’s joint responsibility and it would be good sportsmanship to chip in

TesChique · 06/07/2025 11:40

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/07/2025 11:17

How much was it? You obviously don’t owe that money but if it’s a small amount I’d have paid it anyway. I’m assuming you had left when the accident happened?

Why would you have paid it?????

RentalWoesNotFun · 06/07/2025 11:42

I wouldn’t be paying for someone else’s mistake.
And if you do then I’d suggest the others owe you weekenders a percentage of the car insurance you paid for your own hire car.

If you’re splitting all the car bills between you for all the cars it only seems fair…. No, I’d say well don’t expect any money from me then for your full week car when I already chose to pay expensive insurance on my weekend car.

grumpygrape · 06/07/2025 11:42

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/07/2025 11:31

So the person asking for money hasn’t actually asked you for money then?

Er.. .., yes, twice, once on WhatsApp and once face to face.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/07/2025 11:42

TesChique · 06/07/2025 11:40

Why would you have paid it?????

If it was like £10 each (she said a big group of them) to avoid falling out with friends, considering the shopping probably benefitted her and it was a group
holiday, I’d probably have just paid it so avoid a fall out. Much more and it would have been a no, but it sounds like the person affected didn’t even ask OP for money and it was just a friend being bitter so in that case I wouldn’t have paid regardless

edit: I misread about who’d asked her for money so the last bit of my post above is irrelevant

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/07/2025 11:45

grumpygrape · 06/07/2025 11:42

Er.. .., yes, twice, once on WhatsApp and once face to face.

I’d misread it, didn’t realise it was the driver of the 3rd car that said they hadn’t expected her to pay, I thought she’d spoken to the driver of the damaged car.

DonnaBanana · 06/07/2025 11:49

Depends how much it is. If it’s less than £68 or so I’d pay it just to maintain the harmony to be honest

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/07/2025 11:51

DonnaBanana · 06/07/2025 11:49

Depends how much it is. If it’s less than £68 or so I’d pay it just to maintain the harmony to be honest

Why £68?

CatsorDogsrule · 06/07/2025 12:00

ToKittyornottoKitty · 06/07/2025 11:51

Why £68?

I agree that is pretty random yet specific... They're probably the CF incognito and the amount requested was £69 each 😁.

Whammyyammy · 06/07/2025 12:18

Massive CF.

DesperateforSunshine · 06/07/2025 12:45

Of course you shouldn't have - but if it was a small amount and it keeps the peace then it makes life easier - but they should have paid the extra insurance to avoid this situation. But its the same as taking a friend 2miles down the road and having a puncture - who pays £200 for the new tyre?

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