DS is closer to his Dad

[DaisiesandLemons]

DS has always been closer to his Dad - when he was a toddler he would cry “Daddy do!” when it came to bedtime, making him a drink etc. Ex knew it bothered me but used to bring it up in arguments how DS preferred him to me. It seems like society assumes that sons are closer to their Mums and it was embarrassing that he publicly rejected me for his Dad.

What was worse was that I did all the activities with him, baking, arts and crafts, taking him to the park, library, swimming and reading to him. Ex only started to take him to places when he was a late tween/teenager. He never played with him or took him out on his own but he was a god in my son’s eyes!

Anyone been in a similar position? He just naturally prefers his Dad and it hurts!

Is it because son knows you're the safe, reliable person? Never going anywhere. He has a safe attachment to you, that is consistent.
Where as dad he had to fight for attention (seems like by feeding his ego?)?
From your description it sounds a little like that. And sometimes we are just drawn to some people more than others. It doesn't make you a bad mum in any way.

We have a strong bond too and are close but he would always choose his Dad over me. For years he would break promises to our son - for example would promise to take him to places or fix something for him and never would. DS would say to me that he just knew his Dad would let him down. He’s much better now that DS is a teenager and takes him to the cinema or on holiday etc. possibly he was craving his Dads attention early on.