Bereavement

[PaulRichmond]

My husband died 3 weeks ago and I was with him with my eldest son...my husband's stepson..we are both traumatised and having flashbacks...I am in admin land and have financial worries..it takes 12 weeks to get probate and I haven't even started the process

I am very sorry for your loss. It is a very difficult time, dealing with paperwork and legal stuff when you are grieving.

The Bereavement board and the Legal board are both places where you can get help and advice.

I’m so sorry to read this op

one step at a time
you will be on autopilot at present but do try to section things out in your mind.

maybe get a pad of paper and start making a list of things then you can see clearly what you are up against.

once you’ve made the list only look at it when you feel ready to make a start and do one thing at a time.

in the meantime do you have family and friends you can get support from?

go for long walks to get out of the house.

take up offers from friends to visit. It breaks the day up.

I’m so sorry to hear this.

Read this. Follow the steps. Just one at a time.

https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once

If he has a will, get it and contact the executor (if that’s not you). If there is no will, you needto apply for Letters of Administration https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/apply-for-probate-by-post-if-there-is-not-a-will.

Start with the bank. There are legal processes that have to be followed. Ring and ask for the bereavement line or look for bereavement on their website. You have so much on your mind, I would recommend ringing and talking to a real person.

Two separate issues…..twelve weeks before you can chase but I know two people recently who’ve got probate in two weeks. Took much longer a couple of years ago when I did DH and MIL.

The emotional side, give yourself time! It’s extremely early days and you’ve been traumatised.

Financially, have you checked whether you’re entitled to the bereavement allowance? Lump sum plus £100 a month for eighteen months.

I am making headway with the admin..have closed his bank account...changed the broadband to my account... cancelled the sky account and set up a new cheaper one in my name and transferred the energy bills to my account with a new direct debit...also notified the life insurance company...that's enough for one day I think

@PaulRichmond well done. Cuddle time with DS coming up, I hope.

I’m so very sorry for your loss. 💐

My DH died very unexpectedly just before Christmas, so I understand your situation. My son calls the paperwork the death admin. Just when all you want to do is grieve, you are faced with endless paperwork. We’ve just had Grant of Probate back but there’s still several outstanding things to sort.

I found some of the utilities the most difficult to deal with. People sadly die all the time but when you speak to some employees they are clueless.

You are doing well @PaulRichmond . Take a day at a time.

Thanks 🙏. It's not exhausting 😞