My oldest friend is in hospital, possibly being moved to a hospice soon. She has been in hospital for 10 days now with a catalogue of different ailments mostly caused by self neglect and badly controlled diabetes. Her sisters, only one of whom lives locally, and I have tried to help over the last few years with health issues but she's ignored what we suggested and got worse. She's been very depressed for some time, on medication but also had some phone counselling that to be honest didn't help. She regularly cancelled appointments because she was frightened.
When she went to hospital she told one of her sisters she had something to show her - she's had a lump in her breast for months almost a year. She's also had excruciating back pain for about three months that until we knew about the breast assumed sciatica. The doctors think it's spread to her back/spine.
She's not eaten properly for about six months and had queasiness and the runs on and off since Christmas.
Another friend is currently being treated for breast cancer caught early and she's doing well. The opportunity to tell me at the time I talked to her about it was there and she said nothing. I found a lump a couple of years ago and she went on at me to get it checked (I did and it was nothing) so aibu to be so angry and devastated that she didn't take her own advice?
She's got an aunt and a sister who've both had BC and recovered. She's never told her doctors about this. Her sisters and aunt have yearly mammograms.
I'm heartbroken that I'm going to lose my oldest friend through her own foolishness. I know I may seem harsh. We were at school together and very close at uni and since then. I'm heartbroken for her having wasted her life and for her sisters.
I don't know how to handle it.
She's on morphine for the back pain and talking a lot of nonsense but does have normal moments. I've not said anything to her that I'm angry about it. She told one of her sisters that she'd given herself a death sentence.