Am I overthinking about another woman going after partner

[yippitu]

My DP is meeting friends this evening for a few drinks, however I saw a message ping on his phone a few days ago from a younger woman of along the lines “I’m out this Saturday so you’d better be too, it’s been way too long xx”, I don’t know if I’m now overthinking things of her trying to “tempt” him away, I’m sure it’s given his ego a boost if it’s not just a friendly text, I’ve never had a reason to doubt him before but having been left in the past by ex for OW i wonder if I’m just being overly sensitive? Would you be worried?

Things have been a bit up and down at home - just bickering recently, not much time just for us and very little sex (I’m 37 weeks pg, uncomfortable and with a clingy 17 month old and the heatwave it’s been a bit hard at times).

I do trust him, but I know he’s only human and having been stung horribly in the past I know it does happen.

I would have asked about the message, it’s not like you were looking in his phone as the message came up on screen.

Did you see how he responded?

Its been way too long from when and what?

How is he with his phone? Secretive? Open?

Usual mumsnet sayings ‘trust your gut’ and to be honest that text seems a little sussed to me.

Take care OP 💐

I second this !
💯 ask him about message OP , anyone would, like who is she ? Do you know her & leaving kisses after her message? I have a male friend who is married, wouldn’t be leaving kisses after messages to him though 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn't let that text slide either

I didn’t look to see if he’d replied. Should I of do you think? He’s not secretive with his phone though. He’ll often ask “who just text?” if he’s driving or something.

I’d like to think he wouldn’t throw away our life and growing family for a younger woman showing him a bit of attention, but I do have that sick stomach feeling.

It's all very well saying she's "going after him" but I would also read into that that he must have done enough to encourage her to think she could send that message and it would be well received

I don’t think she have contacted him out of the blue saying that, there must have been some “type” of comment that she felt comfortable to say that to him. Time for an honest chat between you two

@Missj25I know who she is, we’re not friends or anything, we’ve never crossed paths. They’ve both said hello to each other and had a chat when we’ve seen her out when we’ve popped for a drink together. We live in a small town so you “know of” a lot of people. She knows we have a child and one on the way.

@Aspanielstolemysanityabsolutely, I’m not one to look at just one side, I know it takes two

What’s the obsession with her being younger? Has he shown he has a thing for them before?

@Disturbia81 more for context, maybe I’m just feeling a bit self conscious being heavily pg and not feeling my best

Hey OP 👋…
Ah that’s not great to be honest . I wouldn’t like that & she needs to back off to be fair ..
How does she even have his number ?

@Missj25 I have no idea actually!

You need to chat with him …
A girl that you both know in passing, that ye say hi to here & there , when you meet out occasionally when you guys pop out for a drink , isn’t someone’s phone number your husband should have in his phone..
I’m sure he would feel the same if were you x

I would ask him why this woman is texting him - the tone of the text is flirty and doesn't read as if it's a one-off.

She wants to fuck him

Overly sensitive? Not at all. This feels dodgy.

@yippitu, her very flirty message didn’t come out of nowhere. Your concern is valid and I’m sorry that you’ve sat on this for several days. You should feel able to address this with your H. After all, your marriage, family and pregnancy warrant respect, openness and transparency.

I would speak to him about this woman and her ‘move’ asap.

My apologies, @yippitu. I should have written your Partner and relationship.

Hey OP 👋..
How did you get on ?

I once read that the number 1 predictor of adultery is opportunity. I was pretty surprised then thought about it - it’s impossible to cheat without the opportunity to (and only possible to cheat if given the opportunity).

I’m not saying your partner would cheat (especially when you’re heavily pregnant plus have a toddler)! But I do believe a good partner avoids even being around the opportunity- not to mention when alcohol will be involved.

I would as well. For an acquaintance she seems overly friendly towards him, "it's been way too long" implies they've been out together before. Be straight and ask him, see how he reacts

Did you get to the bottom of it, @yippitu?

Thanks for checking in i left it very casual the next
morning - “how was last night, was it busy out, blah blah” and he offered up the information of who he’d seen out etc and that said woman and her friend had joined him and his friends for a drink then the guys moved on, he even said they’re a lot younger/immature/clingy so they were keen to move on.

He wasn’t home late and hadn’t drunk that much. Not that he could have driven me to the hospital if I’d gone into labour but was fully “with it” and coherent had we had to get a taxi or something. So I’m feeling better. I didn’t mention the message specifically because I don’t want to look like I was snooping and cause an issue when he didn’t hide the fact he’d seen this woman out. Do you think that was fair?

So he went out and spent time with her. Hmm I'd be checking his phone. If anything had happened, even just a flirty chat it's not like he's going to come home and tell you.

Hey OP … Sounds like he isn’t hiding anything to be fair , however , I would wonder how he has come to have her number, & would ask that I think ..
Do you think so yourself ?