Ex and I split up nearly a year ago. I’m staying in the house with our DD’s, and he moved out. For a while he was living with a friend and the girls could stay with him there, but that’s not really working and so he wants to come back here to see them & it’s driving me mad!
We tried it for a while when we first split, but if we could happily cohabit we probably would have stayed together. But everything he does makes me want to scream. I keep it together for the kids, but if I’m here, I feel like he’s constantly criticising how I do things, makes me feel like the boring rule keeping tyrant, while he gets to be fun dad, and I still have to do all the cleaning, tidying, cooking etc. I hate his things being round the house & just seeing him here! It’s pretty unhinged. It’s better if I go somewhere - out for the day, or sleep over with friends or family, but then I have to spend ages tidying and putting things back together afterwards.
the thing is, he doesn’t really have anywhere else to go. He’s not really earning much & is struggling with all sorts of stuff. Our marriage was not great and I feel so relieved that it’s over, but he loves and misses the girls and is a good dad. I’m now working full time and in keeping the house am hugely better off than he is. I want to be accommodating and understanding, and feel really guilty about the place he’s in, but unfortunately my body is just screaming whenever he’s around.
I feel like it’s confusing for the girls as they know we’re separated, but it doesn’t actually feel that different to when we were together & also think he’d actually like to move back in more permanently. I just want to move on & need some perspective on whether I’m being awful and ungrateful, or whether I should just be honest that I am struggling to keep things harmonious when he’s here. Thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far! Didn’t realise how much I needed to get that off my chest!