To feel fat, down and fed up with life in general?

[Jellycatinahat]

I don’t know who to speak to but really need to get it off my chest. I feel so low. I don’t know what I’m asking for if I’m being honest.
I have a young child, and have a decent job but feel taken for granted there so stay for the flexible working with a young child. Been with DH 15 years. I just feel like my lack of motivation has caused me to never lose the weight from pregnancy. I’m pretty much nearly the same weight as I was at full term but my daughter is 4 now. My clothes don’t fit. I have a chronic illness. I’m exhausted.
my weight is really getting me down but I can never stick to a diet. I had a rare night with friends I haven’t seen in a long time. And two of them are on weight loss injections they get privately and they’re tiny now and said they will probably be on them forever due to their struggles with overeating. I have to admit it. I felt jealous. They don’t work and their husbands pay for it. Thats not me being mean, I didn’t say anything so I said how pleased I was for them.
i can’t get it on the nhs and I can’t afford to buy it privately.
I feel like social media is saying more and more how big isn’t acceptable anymore.
im on anti depressants and dont feel they’re working and wondering if they’re also the cause of my continuous weight gain.
my husband is in high debt and i have some, so money is a struggle and we are living somewhere we can afford but it’s not where we want to be. Can’t afford to buy. He’s always moody so finding that hard.
life is so hard. I feel trapped. My daughter is my only light and I’m trying so hard. I feel awful.

Apologies for the pathetic message and please don’t be hard on me if you do respond.

This is all your depression talking OP. And it's very likely that your depression is causing your weight gain. Ask your GP for an alternate antidepressant.

I have been on depression medication since my teens and had to change the meds or in/decrease the doses a few times during different phases of my life

Jelly, this sounds really tough. Have you a plan to address the debt? Powerlessness is stressful. Where is the debt from?

Foodwise, try a little Intermittent Fasting. Start with not eating after 6pm. Brush your teeth and be finished with food until morning. Start with one small habit change. Just one.

🤗

No advice, just want to send you a big hug. You’ll be the light of your daugher’s life too, remember that!

the weight loss injections are instead of food so you shouldn't actually be spending any extra.

I hope you manage to find some peace and joy in your life. It's horrid but hopefully only a phase.

@JudgingJudy is right. Doing one small thing will make yourself feel better and more in control. Then add another when ready. Do see your GP too about your low mood.
List things you are grateful for each day; your daughter, your flexible job, your health etc etc xx