Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this a sign i should look for new friends?

3 replies

Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahh · 05/07/2025 16:12

Been to 2 events in the last month, a hen do which was a spa day and a meal, and a baby shower, both with the same group of friends.
I just feel like I struggle in groups as there are more dominant personalities and I'm more of a listener.
Also I've never married, had kids etc. So I'm sort of not important in that sense. I know that sounds bitter, because I've had life events that make me happy, bought a home, met my partner, got a dog, and so on but I know these are not really deemed as important by a lot of people, even though they are to me.
So often in group settings I feel I'm forgotten. Of course, the hen, mother to be and so on are the priority, we are here to celebrate them. However I feel like nobody took an interest in me at all, if I asked them about their work and so on they'd maybe ask in return but otherwise people wouldn't really make conversation.
Maybe it's my body language, tone etc ? I feel like I'm smiling, interested and positive, try to joke and stuff.
I don't know what it is but I've always felt like this. Obviously don't need to be centre of attention, but nobody seemed to care, when the person replied about my job, she even got the workplace wrong.

OP posts:
Utterlyconfusednow · 05/07/2025 16:15

I prefer one to one or a very small group OP. It’s ok if you do too.

Yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahh · 05/07/2025 16:15

I bought my first home a year ago, there have been several invitations for the friends to come for a housewarming, it's under an hour away.
I've suggested dates too but nobody's ever seen it, and I've been told that unless it's for a baby or a wedding then I'm pretty much irrelevant and people don't care about seeing your new home or your dog.

OP posts:
FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 05/07/2025 16:16

I find people in general love to talk about themselves and aren't actually genuinely interested in others. It can make being in a group of people feel really lonely and one sided.

I have only ever had one friend who truly is interested in me and I would say is 100% reciprocal with effort.

It's not nice, but I think your experience is pretty common! Maybe don't ditch them, but possibly spend some energy finding one or two good friends who are at the same stage of life as you.

That is what I did when all my friends started having babies and I couldn't have my own :)
They became even more wrapped up in themselves (which is understandable) but finding other child free women was a breath of fresh air.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page