Seeing more of my DSC than DC

[LiuButter]

I have 2 DC, DD is 23 and DS is 25, I also have 2 DSC, twins who are 24.
DS lives in Edinburgh, DD Manchester and DSC both live in London.
Over the last year I realise I have seen much more of my DSC than my DC. Mainly as they invite me down often, either with their dad or just me. In the last few weeks I’ve been down twice, once for Wimbledon this week and once for the tennis at Queens Club. In the last year I’ve probably been down to London at least once a month, usually as they have invited me for a gig/show/sporting event. I’ve seen DD 4 times, I’ve asked if I can go over for lunch one day but she’s always busy and DS maybe 4 times as well.

Today DD messaged me saying “see you were down in London again, anyone would think you love them more than us lol”. I replied saying she was invited (she was, as was DS) and I often ask to go see her and she hasn’t replied to that.

It does upset me that I see more of my DSC but I’m not going to say no to invites just because my children aren’t as available? I also don’t want them to think it’s a preference thing, it’s not.

DD is prone to getting upset if I spend too much time with DSC, I think it’s jealousy but im
not sure what to do about it?

My sister thinks I see too much of my DSC and I should stop going down every month but I don’t think that makes sense?

AIBU seeing my DSC more than my DC just because they want to see me more?

YANBU, you are all adults free to see whomever you wish.
Give your DD and DS an open invitation to catchup on a regular basis and stop telling them when you see DSC unless it's about a group thing.

Dosent make sense, your daughter has ignored the fact she's says she's busy, so why should she complain.
Sounds very insecure and controlling. You can do what you want op.

I think it's lovely that your SC invite you to fun things. of your dd is jealous, then she could suggest something similar for you to do as it seems you do try to get together with her.

Next time she makes a comment, reply with “I’d love to do more with you. When are you free?”

Don't respond to your DD ultimatums.
Enjoy your children enjoy step children. Sounds wonderful.

You're going where you're invited.

Your daughter likely is jealous of you going to see your step kids once a month. But, you've asked to go see her and she's been too busy. She's making it a competition and setting up a lose/lose scenario for you.

Maybe see if you can set up a monthly day to see her, but if she keeps refusing because she's busy, drop the rope a bit. Merely remind her if she tries the guilt trip lol move that you asked to visit on day x and she was too busy. Don't back off from seeing your step kids. They want your company.

She’s jealous yet her own inaction leads to it.

You seem to only go because you are invited you’ve not invited them or forced your way in. All your daughter has to do is invite you somewhere. Easy peasy.

Keep a track of it all somewhere.

‘I texted you in January to go to an exhibition but you didn’t reply. The following week I called you but you were busy and said you’d call back later but you never did.

‘February - I invited you to this but you refused. I suggested that but you didn’t reply.

‘March……

Then next time she says something just copy and paste the whole thing. She can’t argue if it’s there in black and white. Same with your son. If you’re offering and suggesting and they say no then what are you supposed to do?

How long have your SC been in your life?

Exactly! Sounds like the DSC are very inclusive/mature and sociable. Sounds perfect!

DD is an adult and fact she doesn’t even respond when OP says if she invited her she’d go there so speaks volumes really. DD is basically saying I can’t make time for you but until I can I want you to not go see the SC! Like what?! Also seems your sister is jealous also.

@LiuButter Don’t feel guilty OP YANBU as SC are still family surely? Life is short, go enjoy it to the full and maximise all opportunities that come you way - why should you be bound by the jealous/selfish limiting desires of someone else?!

Your DD doesn't seem to be a very nice person. Sorry. If she's so "busy" she ought to be happy that you're out and about seeing whoever. Sounds very petty and controlling. Was she very spoilt growing up? Because this entitled attitude doesn't come about in a void. If I had said something similar to my mum she would have told me off and rightfully so.