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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Carers supporting a hospital discharge

6 replies

TheOpalFox · 04/07/2025 22:33

My dads coming out of hospital with carers to help twice a day
but how does it work? When he lives with me? Does it just take the pressure off me a bit ? He’s very full on. But obviously I care for him usually but what do I do when the carers are here twice a day? Thankyou

OP posts:
vdbfamily · 04/07/2025 22:41

It depends what they have been asked to do. Twice a day care it's usually too help get up, washed and dressed and then ready for bed at end of day, with you just providing meals and drinks, assuming he can manage his own toiletting. Whilst the carers are in the house, you should be able to leave then to it.

vdbfamily · 04/07/2025 22:43

But you should have been told what the carers will do. If they have not told you, just ask

Ponoka7 · 04/07/2025 22:46

You should have been involved with his discharge plan. You should have points of contact on discharge. The nurse in charge of your Dad will be able to give you information. If it's to get him up of a morning and put him to bed, they'll do whatever is on his care plan and you will just leave them to it.

OhBumBags · 04/07/2025 22:48

My dad's carers would come in the morning, get him washed/dressed and into his chair. Then they'd make him a cup of tea and something to eat and remind him to take his tablets.

They'd do similar around 8.30pm and put him to bed.

He lived with my sister but she worked full-time so it really helped.

If you don't have a key safe by the front door, definitely get one as the carers needed it for access.

NewspaperChips · 05/07/2025 06:10

You’ll get lots more helpful advice on the Elderly Parents board - try posting there too.

We had something similar with DF. You’ll likely receive a care needs assessment from a social worker listing what your dad needs help with - this is what the 2 visits a day will have been based on.

At the first visit, the carers should leave you their paperwork - including contact details and the care plan which details what the carers will do each visit. Have a list of questions ready for them!

Is it funded or do you need to pay?

A few practical things we’ve found useful - having all medication, clothes, wash stuff in one place so the carers can get straight to it without asking questions. Definitely get a key safe. It might feel strange having people in your home - when they’re here, make yourself scarce, let your dad build trust with them, but feel free to check in with them before they leave.

Use them as your ally - DF won’t take any notice of DM, but will listen to some of the carers. Share that with them (when you feel comfortable) and ask them to be your voice on matters if necessary.

Things like making a cup of tea, or little things like changing socks/fetching slippers etc are all part of the carer’s role. It took us a while to get used to that - DM thought she was helping by doing those things while the carer was there, but it’s important DF learns to ask the carers for what he needs.

Finally, learn to live flexibly/in a bit of chaos for a while. They usually give you a 2 hour visit window and can arrive at any point in that. You’ll also likely have different carers throughout the week, your dad might take to some quicker than others.

Good luck!

Branleuse · 05/07/2025 11:19

Theyll come in and find out what you want and need from them and then work on a care plan with you and him.

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