To feel boring and invisible

MrsCellophaneWoman · 2025-07-04T20:56:35+00:00

Currently hiding from the world. Feeling very low. Feeling on the periphery of everything. Was really looking forward to things this year, booked tickets for three events and a week’s UK holiday. I’ve had to sell on my tickets for all three events. Just the week’s holiday left now later in the year. I feel I’ve got nothing to say, nothing of interest to add to anything. My 18 month old baby cries when I take him from his Dad because he doesn’t want to be with me. I can’t tell anyone about the realities of my work. I literally have nothing left to say to anyone. I feel boring and invisible.

KateMiskin · 04/07/2025 21:57

Lots of things going on here.
Why did you have to sell the tickets?

Original poster

MrsCellophaneWoman · 04/07/2025 22:05

One I double-booked myself with work (tickets bought so far ahead I forgot the date and agreed to something I couldn’t get out of). One I was probably over optimistic of making the necessary arrangements to go. And the third, huge Mum guilt that I’d be missing DS 7 in something that wasn’t arranged at the time I bought the tickets.

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beetr00 · 04/07/2025 22:10

@MrsCellophaneWoman

Just wondering if you have a close support system? Family or friends?

Do they realise you're struggling somewhat?

Original poster

MrsCellophaneWoman · 04/07/2025 22:14

No not really. I’m not very good at asking for help. And everyone’s got their own stuff going on haven’t they.

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RobertaFirmino · 04/07/2025 22:16

My 18 month old baby cries when I take him from his Dad because he doesn’t want to be with me.

This isn't true. Your baby cries because he is a baby and that is what they do. Please don't think he doesn't want to be with you, that really isn't the case.

Now, about being boring. I don't think you are boring. I think you are bored. Who wouldn't be? Let's be frank, parenting can be very, very dull and there's no shame in saying so. Working as well probably means that you have precious little free time and when you do, I bet you're shattered.

I wonder if you are unwell? I don't mean seriously ill, I mean run down, depleted in vitamins and possibly even depressed. How would you feel about seeing your GP? For all you know, you could be suffering unnecessarily.

Original poster

MrsCellophaneWoman · 04/07/2025 22:21

RobertaFirmino · 04/07/2025 22:16

My 18 month old baby cries when I take him from his Dad because he doesn’t want to be with me.

This isn't true. Your baby cries because he is a baby and that is what they do. Please don't think he doesn't want to be with you, that really isn't the case.

Now, about being boring. I don't think you are boring. I think you are bored. Who wouldn't be? Let's be frank, parenting can be very, very dull and there's no shame in saying so. Working as well probably means that you have precious little free time and when you do, I bet you're shattered.

I wonder if you are unwell? I don't mean seriously ill, I mean run down, depleted in vitamins and possibly even depressed. How would you feel about seeing your GP? For all you know, you could be suffering unnecessarily.

I always have to put my baby down, there’s always something else needs doing. He doesn’t like it because I put him I. His playpen while I get on with stuff. My partner comes home and makes a huge fuss of him. I always feel like the bad guy.

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Original poster

MrsCellophaneWoman · 04/07/2025 22:23

RobertaFirmino · 04/07/2025 22:16

My 18 month old baby cries when I take him from his Dad because he doesn’t want to be with me.

This isn't true. Your baby cries because he is a baby and that is what they do. Please don't think he doesn't want to be with you, that really isn't the case.

Now, about being boring. I don't think you are boring. I think you are bored. Who wouldn't be? Let's be frank, parenting can be very, very dull and there's no shame in saying so. Working as well probably means that you have precious little free time and when you do, I bet you're shattered.

I wonder if you are unwell? I don't mean seriously ill, I mean run down, depleted in vitamins and possibly even depressed. How would you feel about seeing your GP? For all you know, you could be suffering unnecessarily.

And yes, probably all of the above. I don’t eat properly, I get about 5 hours sleep a night, plus naps when I can. I’m exhausted. I don’t think it’s something a GP can change. But thank you for your kind words.

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TheMagicDeckchair · 04/07/2025 22:43

I really feel for you OP. I have young children too and sleep deprivation absolutely batters my mental health and gives me terrible anxiety. It’s starting to get a bit better now mine are a little older but I completely sympathise. And the older baby stage is so very intense.

Your little boy cries with you because you’re his safe space. It isn’t because he doesn’t love you, it’s because you’re the one person he trusts most in the world.

Is there any way you could take a little time for yourself, to recuperate? We don’t have anyone who will take our kids overnight but me and DH have taken turns between us to sleep away at a hotel just to get that break. I think having some space to decompress and think might be of great benefit to you.

Original poster

MrsCellophaneWoman · 05/07/2025 02:40

TheMagicDeckchair · 04/07/2025 22:43

I really feel for you OP. I have young children too and sleep deprivation absolutely batters my mental health and gives me terrible anxiety. It’s starting to get a bit better now mine are a little older but I completely sympathise. And the older baby stage is so very intense.

Your little boy cries with you because you’re his safe space. It isn’t because he doesn’t love you, it’s because you’re the one person he trusts most in the world.

Is there any way you could take a little time for yourself, to recuperate? We don’t have anyone who will take our kids overnight but me and DH have taken turns between us to sleep away at a hotel just to get that break. I think having some space to decompress and think might be of great benefit to you.

Thank you, it really helps just to be listened to. The hotel sounds a lovely idea, I can’t see it happening unfortunately. My partner would probably think I was having an affair if I suggested it! My in laws will take our eldest over night, but both is a bit much for them. They will take both out for the day, but usually when I’m working. And if I’m not working, there’s housework. I don’t feel like there’s any time for me. It’s my birthday soon, and my Mum and partner have both asked me what I want. I can’t think of anything! My partner said he’d get me some new clothes, but I’m still carrying a lot of weight post baby and I don’t want to buy clothes this size. I knew what I wanted to do for my birthday, but my partner said it was too difficult with the baby, and we couldn’t find a solution we both agreed on, so that’s gone by the wayside. Plus there’s more school events that day, so we’ll just do that.

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