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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Question for homeowners - do you look down on or judge your neighbours that rent?

123 replies

Sophiehoney · 04/07/2025 21:18

I've always been a renter, for reasons not relevant to the question
I live in a large three bed house in a nice area, everyone around me owns, as do most people in the street.
I've noticed since moving in that all the neighbours who own talk to each other and my nice owner NDN said that as soon as she moved in, everyone was so nice and welcomed her to the street, I've noticed they will always stop and talk to her by their cars.
If I say hello or I wave good morning, I get ignored or I get a grunt or hurried answer. I've never made any noise, been anti social in any way, or had enough of a conversation with anyone to have possibly upset then!

I've also seen things online that made me 😮 someone complaining about someone taking up an on-street parking space - "he rents! Everyone else here owns!" as if owning your house makes you more entitled to the road next to it.
I also saw a thread on Facebook about bad neighbours and someone said "never buy anywhere near a rental property, tenants don't care about their homes or their neighbours" and loads agreeing with her. The OP hadn't even specified if the disruptive neighbours were owners or renters!

I've also had a block management company refuse to give me an access code to a side gate in the flat I live in even after I proved I was a resident because "someone keeps letting people into the building who shouldn't be here so we're only giving the code to owners'.

So I'm wondering if this is a common theme - be honest, please. Do you look down on renters? Do you judge? Think they are going to be trouble? Think they have less right to be there?

Just FWIW, I'm a working professional, I'm clean, tidy, considerate, friendly, and I pay more in rent than a lot of people pay for their mortgage, and all the same bills the owners do.

OP posts:
notthenameofthegame · 04/07/2025 21:49

Absolutely not - I could not afford to rent at today's prices, so no, I don't look down on renters per-se. Unless anyone on your street has told you that they don't speak to you because you rent, then it might be worth while seeing if there's anything else you might have done to warrant the response. I say this because the whole renting thing could well be your hang-up, and be the easiest thing to attach their aloofness to.

A couple of years ago I had the great misfortune of working alongside a woman who told me on at least two occasions that one of the dads at the school gate has a problem with women, because he'll talk to her husband but never to her. Just because she's a woman. I mean, being objective, I'd have said it could have been that he just didn't like her, due to the fact she had her head so far up her back-side it's a wonder she could breath. My dislike of her had nothing to do with her being a woman, and everything to do with the problems she caused me.

This said, one of the neighbours where I live now seemed to think people earned their stripes on this street, and that the more years you've lived there, the more entitled you were to make friends with other neighbours, to put your bins out before others, to have more rubbish than others. She'd been here many years longer than most, and had appointed herself top of her tree. It never sat easily with her that no one else gave a toss about the game she was playing.

She once had a row with someone next door, to which she blurted out "you only rent any way", as if that had anything to do with what they'd fallen out over. She was quite troubled, that one.

What I do look down is when people (buyers or renters) make a street look like a shit-hole. The street where my parents lived since 1969 was beautifully well kept when I was a child, and almost everyone who lived there then was a homeowner.

My parents have since died, and by the time I sold the house last year, a large number of the houses had been bought up as buy-to-lets. Some of them looked horrific, and cars parked all over the grass verges. I don't know if it was the renters or the owners, but there was a distinct lack of pride.

Then again, given the amount of money people pay in rent, I do wonder if they can be expected to maintain a property to a decent standard.

My sister has always rented, she has never worked full time & when she did work it was for less than 20 years (she's mid fifties now). One way or another, she has always had help with her rent, she's moved around more times than I can count, she'd lived in decent areas and areas that were much less so. Each time she's let the places go to pot, she's walked out leaving furniture behind, I have bought her new things and given her way more of any excess I've had, and she's very easy-come, easy-go. I would hate to have her as my neighbour. She is the type who give renters a bad name.

Zov · 04/07/2025 21:49

SteamLover · 04/07/2025 21:46

Only the ones who scream and shout in the street in the middle of the night while their 2 little kids stand by crying; the same ones who have drug dealers pulling up on electric bikes outside my house. Those ones I do judge.

I know a few people who are homeowners/mortgage owners who behave like this.

Loveduppenguin · 04/07/2025 21:49

I’m only 40 but in my lifetime so far, I have lived mortgage free, I have rented, and I have owned a house with a mortgage. I don’t really care how anyone pays for their home as long as they’re a nice person who treats other people around them nicely.

EmeraldRoulette · 04/07/2025 21:50

No

Iwantmyoldnameback · 04/07/2025 21:51

I don't because I am honest enough to admit we could not have afforded to buy our house now. Our road is made up of oldies like us and younger renters.

skippy67 · 04/07/2025 21:52

No. But then I have no idea if my neighbours rent or own. Wouldn't care either way.

Aparecium · 04/07/2025 21:52

Never even occurred to me. I don't even know which of my neighbours rent and which own. Except those who have built extensions, I assume they own.

Why would I judge people for renting? How is that relevant? I do judge people on their behaviour if they are un-neighbourly. The nastiest neighbour I have ever lived next to owned their house.

WildJustice · 04/07/2025 21:54

I was a renter for 20 years and very luckily, I am now a home owner. I feel quite guilty that I was lucky enough to have help buying and really feel it's such an injustice that it is just not possible for so many.
There are not a huge amount of renters around where I live, but those that do rent are part of the community, probably mostly because they have children.
Maybe there were previous bad tenants in your house and the neighbours ar0e a bit cautious now?
I can't imagine why anyone would look down on a renters tbh.

PepsiForEva · 04/07/2025 21:57

God no!

TBH I only know for sure 4 neighbours who rent- because they live in a house that was converted into 4 flats. Other than that, no idea. Don;t care either.

Happyholidays78 · 04/07/2025 21:57

No judgement from me, 2 of our neighbours in our cul de sac rent & have been there for about 10 years & are wonderful. They are kind, friendly & really hardworking (women work nights & men work day's so they can be around for their children) oh and they are Polish. I know they plan to buy their own homes one day & I'll be devastated when they go.

yeesh · 04/07/2025 21:59

i Don’t know which of my neighbours rent or own. Couldn’t give a fuck

Tbry24 · 04/07/2025 21:59

I’d always rented until a few years ago and moved a lot and YES most neighbours always looked down on me as the tenant and usually never spoke to me. Treated me, then us, like absolute crap especially at our last address. The whole village blanked us there it was so awful.

we finally bought our house a few years ago which the previous owners had had a few tenants in. We think a lot of the neighbours here assume we are also only tenants (no sale board went up as we viewed and made an offer) and so still blank us, well me especially. Our new next door neighbours bought and moved in about 18 months later and ALL the neighbours talk to them …. Will blank me and cross the road and talk to them at the same time.

Ridiculous as our new neighbours are not the best. Noisy household with barking dogs, don’t keep the house that tidy, come and go at all hours , have now split up but still live together and have other partners stay over in the house etc.

I will never be speaking to the neighbours who have treated me like this.

PepsiForEva · 04/07/2025 22:00

Oh and to add. We live on a private road where we need parking permits (because near a station so we have a parking company monitor it). We had a 'road meeting' when that was being sorted and the woman who was organising it all said she would only get the company to issue parking permits to 'owners, not renters'. She was very swiftly put back in her box by absolutely everyone who told her to not be such a bloody snob. You live here, you get a permit.

Octavia64 · 04/07/2025 22:02

No.

and I don’t know anyway.

cadburyegg · 04/07/2025 22:06

No absolutely not, I do feel empathy for them because of the potential insecurity of their situation but I don’t judge them in any way.

Lioncub2020 · 04/07/2025 22:08

No - none of my neighbours rent.

Newblackdress · 04/07/2025 22:11

No. I’m not sure who rents in our road, except the small number of neighbours who are friends.

NeedZzzzzssss · 04/07/2025 22:13

Not for renting, I couldn't care less but I do judge people for not taking care of their property and having no self respect. The house behind us is rented and the last two tenants have been feral, rubbish lying everywhere, weeds etc. I think people tend to take care of their property when they own it.

Zov · 04/07/2025 22:16

NeedZzzzzssss · 04/07/2025 22:13

Not for renting, I couldn't care less but I do judge people for not taking care of their property and having no self respect. The house behind us is rented and the last two tenants have been feral, rubbish lying everywhere, weeds etc. I think people tend to take care of their property when they own it.

Again, I know people who are homeowners/mortgage owners who are like this. It's not just people who rent!

Wolmando · 04/07/2025 22:16

No, my son rents, he is not interested in buying a house

NeedZzzzzssss · 04/07/2025 22:18

Zov · 04/07/2025 22:16

Again, I know people who are homeowners/mortgage owners who are like this. It's not just people who rent!

I think it depends on what area you live in sadly. I live in a 'naice' area. In general I've noticed this with renters.

LifeBeginsToday · 04/07/2025 22:20

I feel for them due to the price disparity. In my current flat I pay £410pm for the mortgage and the neighbours below pay £1200 in rent. I'm buying my parents house, which is currently tenanted so the neighbours will probably assume I rent. But the mortgage there will be £960, when the tenants pay £1600.

alexalisten · 04/07/2025 22:21

I couldn't give a shit if someone owns, rents or is a council tenant aslong as their not irritating me.

Hankunamatata · 04/07/2025 22:21

Couldn't care less. But we brought a small house in a not so nice area so people probably judge us for where we live

OneBrightMorning · 04/07/2025 22:21

Absolutely not. It's ludicrous to judge someone for renting a house or flat. I rented for years before being in a position to buy. A lot of homeowners are bankrolled by Mum and Dad (though I am not such a person, DH and I paid our own way). It would be particularly absurd if those people looked down on their neighbours who didn't receive family handouts.

My NDN rent their house. The only reason I know that is because they told me. We've lived here for almost 10 years, they have been here longer than we have. We couldn't ask for better neighbours.