To treat myself like a goblin

[TheLittleMermoo]

I broke up my DP of 10 years :-(
We aren't talking but we still have to live together for another month.

Im doing okay but Im acting like a total waster 😅 Im self-employed, so I go out to a client and get my work done, and then I come back home and doomscroll. Lie in bed. Eating frozen foods, takeaways. Last night in just had crisps for tea. Its been a week but I dont want to stop living like this.
I am showering every day but cant be bothered to do any other self care stuff. I just want to lie in bed and eat junk food until he moves out.
But I feel guilty for being this way. Like I should be bouncing around Living My Best Life and going on a Glow Up or something.

Will that phase come after my goblin phase???!

Sounds a bit of a shit way to live op

no children around?

I think it's fine if it's early days and it doesn't go on for too long. if you're months down the line and still living like this then you might need a kick up the arse. Nothing wrong with a wallow now and again.

It’s fine, sounds like a short term situation until he’s out the house, so for now just do what you’ve got to do to keep your sanity!! Save your energies for later!!

Haha - Goblin phase. That's one way to put it. Could it be that lying in bed eating junk food is your self care in this brief period?

Sometimes we all need a goblin phase (never called it that before but I love it!)

I'm still very much with my DH but he is going away for the weekend soon and I fully intend a bit of goblin time

When he's moved out you will get back to being yourself again.
But i think many even myself have lived like a goblin at some point.

Wait i still do.

I think it’s fine to be a bit self indulgent for a while particularly after a big change and a period of uncertainty / stress.

You could maybe up your self care routine or try something a bit ‘mindful’ like a craft or doodling if you’re into that sort of thing. You might not feel up to it today but can you start to schedule a meal out with friend/spa day/trip to the seaside/walk through the woods in 2-3 weeks to bring you back to the land of the living. Future you will thank you!

Ah big hugs OP, I love that term goblin phase. It’s ok to be like that for max a fortnight but then you need to make sure you do live your best life. Try and at least get out for a walk to help your mindset. Could you take some annual leave and head away for a few days to give yourself some breathing space from him or go stay with friends or family. It must be very awkward. Look after yourself and tell yourself bettter things are ahead

Be kind to yourself! It’s impossible to move on and thrive in life when he’s still living there. And there may still be a little while after he moves out before you get to that stage, and that’s ok. You have to give yourself time to grieve your relationship first, before the opportunity will come to start afresh.
You’re doing great. You’re still functioning, just get through this time until he goes then make your plan of how you will work on a happier you ♥️

Thanks girls! I will let myself slide into the weekend and have another two days of lethargy and selfpity. And I will start planning some nice stuff and hanging out with friends for next week. Its just right now, I dont want to deal with the world :) x

Who's decision was the break up?

Fuck it, do what makes you feel good for now!

Sounds like a horrible situation, so just do what you need to for now.

I think some wallowing in self-pity (and crisps) is totally reasonable after the break up of a decade long relationship! Probably a good idea to set yourself a deadline though, not for feeling better (that'll take time) but for things like seeing friends, cleaning up, cooking yourself a proper meal.

@TheLittleMermoo

It's a well known fact goblins often evolve into stronger and more intelligent forms, with hobgoblins being a common first step in their evolutionary path.

Some goblins may also evolve into ogres or other powerful creatures, sometimes through blessings or other means, but hobgoblins are often considered the final stage of goblin evolution

Any of these will do

🍕🍟🍰🍫🍾Enjoy, a month will fly by.

I think I’d do exactly the same, OP. I would book some things in for the week after next - live your very best goblin life for a little longer and then reintroduce yourself to sunlight, other people etc. I’d make sure you start with some things for you though - manicure, massage, haircut, blow dry, shopping. Whatever helps you feel good about yourself. Mix that with some friend meet ups and you’ll soon feel more yourself. You’ll be back out in the world soon enough so just be kind to yourself x

This is such a great response 😂

Embrace the goblin, long live the goblin phase

In all seriousness though do it for as long as you feel the need to, I am quite jealous I cannot be a goblin right now 😂

🥹🥹🥹
All hail the hobgoblins!

Great idea! I can spend the weekend eating and watching trash in bed while also booking some indulgent yet world-facing self-care stuff for next week. That way i get to act like a goblin while also feeling more "reasonable"!

Come Sunday night you’ll feel bloated, lethargic yucky and a bit sick with yourself. Sure, kick back and chill this weekend but I’d incorporate getting some fresh air, doing one thing productive (like laundry) and maybe seeing a friend. Otherwise, Sunday night I’d be feeling, well, shit

i wonder what your STBX is planning for the weekend and I hope you live in a spacious house!

Come on Gurgletum, dont rain on my parade! Im actually about to make an omelette which I think is a promising sign

Are hobgoblins the phase where you start to do a bit of cooking again?…x-post, omelette making definitely now hobgoblin👍

You'll feel better once you don't have to live with him anymore.

At the moment, it's like trying to be enthusiastic about a job where they've told you that your contract is being terminated for being crap/you're being made redundant but they're making you work out your notice to get every last scrap of emotional and physically energy out of you (and complaining that you aren't being as much of a team player or as positive and proactive as usual).

It'll be fine. Not long now.

Well yes absolutely and not exactly what I thought you meant when you said eat junk food and stay in bed the entire weekend!

Will dp be about?