To expect an acknowledgement or apology from child's parent?

[Oceanblue042]

Last weekend, my 5yo DD was at a birthday party and during one of the party games, a child from her class pushed her several times. I wasn't there myself, by DP said that the child didn't pick on anyone else, just DD. It upset her and DP had to console her. The child attended with a family friend, not their parents, but this friend did apologise, made the child apologise (the child said "sorry" sarcastically). I have seen the child's parents at school since. AIBU to expect some sort of apology from them, or at least an acknowledgement? Or is this the norm now at primary school - kids get pushed about and that's ok, you just suck it up and deal with it?

DD mentioned a few times that the same child picks on her and messes with her in class. It doesn't sound like anything too serious, so haven't brought it up with school. I think the child may have ADHD, which may explain the behaviours, but how do I teach my DD to deal with kids who push and upset her (without telling her to push back)? I'm one who would be absolutely mortified if I learnt that my child had been mean to another child and made them cry!

This is overly precious Op - kids bheave badly sometimes - perhaps this was a Neurodiverse child struggling at a party - the parent was probably embarassed.

this is a 5r year old we are talking about - how sincere an apology did you want from the child?!

and if it's something further (ie. in school) you talk to school.

Ok so same as primary then

Strange thing to make a comment on

So primary school then

There are 2 issues.

• The party. The adult responsible for the child dealt with it, apologised and made the child apologise. No further action needed.

• The issues in school. You need to talk to the class teacher about this and make sure any bullying of your child (if it is at that level) is addressed.

Our area it's primary and secondary, not infant , juniors and senior. Not that it's relevant to the thread in any way what stage of school ops child is at. Op you're being unreasonable. There was an apology at the time, it's over and done with. However you should be talking to the school about the low level that's happening there before it escalates.

Goddamn MN for taking away the 😂

Sorry? Of course she is-particularly at this time of the year!

You had an apology from the family friend and from the child, why would you expect another one from the parents? Let it go, 5 year olds do sometimes push one another, it's not unusual.

Regarding this child's behaviour towards your DD in school, if you're concerned I would speak to the teacher.

Primary school means infant and junior together. They might be separate schools or they might all be one school, we have both in our city.

but this friend did apologise, made the child apologise (the child said "sorry" sarcastically)

The adult who was in charge of the child at the time apologised, and made the child apologise (sounds like a fairly typical 5 yo apology). So you aren't having to suck anything up, it was dealt with at the time.

No I wouldn't expect something from the parents. They weren't there and apologies have already been made by those that were.

If DD is having issues with the same child in school, raise that separately with the teacher.

@Oceanblue042 this is too much come on. Just leave it and move forward.

If you have concerns about issues in school and mistreatment unchecked, I'd speak to the school and ask for reassurance.

Demanding apologies feels really coarse. Deal with any problems going forward. The school should be on it but you can enquire if it puts your mind at ease.

Even if the parents know there was pushing happening, the family friend may not have been able to name your daughter so the parents wouldn't know who to apologise to.

If there's issues at school I would definitely have a word with the teacher.

I very definitely dropped my 5yo off at primary school today.

Thank you, so I'm being very unreasonable here. Understood.

Yes, parents know.

As I said, if that was my child, I'd be horrified and so apologetic, but that's just me. I'm a forever worrier, and I'm BU in this case.

I don't think the pushing at the party is an issue - it was dealt with at the time.

You really should have spoken to school about what's going on there though, a one off I'd let slide but a number of incidents needs raising.

Did you accept the apology? If so why are you holding on to this and when have they done enough in your eyes?

Even if the friend told the parents is it really likely they knew your name and child’s name to identify you to the parents?

what did you do to help?

🤣😂🤣

🤣

OK, well you're going to have to stop being 'so horrified and apologetic' about ordinary childhood behaviour.

I was thinking the same. On the other side, if my child had been pushed, and the parent of the pusher turned it into a big drama of being horrified and several apologies I would find that quite odd.

Hang on. You've come on here to ask whether you're being unreasonable, and the general consensus is that you are, and like a sensible grown-up you've accepted that and even thanked people for their input.

This is very unusual. It's almost shocking. Are you trying to undermine the entire practical basis of AIBU? What's wrong with you, woman?

Mine is.

I taught my DD to defend herself. Women need to know they have a right to do this and it needs to be taught in childhood.

I don't approve of children pushing each other, of course, and this matter was dealt with at the time. I'd speak to class teacher about the messing with your DD, though - it worries your DD or she would not have mentioned it.