To think government is not doing enough to protect children online

[Monkeybargarden]

I know we are responsible as parents: talking to our kids, putting restrictions, boundaries, spending time with them, etc; however there is so much there it seems impossible to keep on top of it; we can’t control everything they are exposed to.

But why the government allowing all these sites and information that is targeting weak and young uninformed people.

Can you give examples? What is it that you want them to do?

Most harmful sites such as porn are hosted overseas where the government has no authority. Although they can stop ISPs from allowing people to get to them a simple vpn will get round any ISP block

Parent your children properly.

No social media and a dumb phone. No computer in their bedroom and only let them use it when you can see the screen.

Giving your child access to all these things is the primary fault and no government intervention can override positive boundary setting and effective parenting that we should all be doing.

50 years ago kids were told not to speak to strangers and that dirty mags were secretive and hidden (albeit a part of life!)

Now we give them all tools that allow them to speak to strangers and find the dirty corners of the internet, give them unlimited access to it and let them use it unsupervised, in their rooms, at whatever time of day or night they like!

Insane.

We could be like China and block all outside content but that’s very controlled. From a technical perspective it’s not easy to block individual websites and we have little control over those coming from overseas. Sadly the only thing we can to is teach our dc and instil good morals, awareness and internet access self control skills.

I teach my dc not to speak to strangers online. In all honesty my chatty confident dc are more likely to chat to a random in the supermarket. Never quite managed to crack that one. Online however they are pretty savvy but it didn’t happen naturally. My poor deprived dc are almost 14 and they don’t have TikTok. They’ve of course seen friends phones but they understand why I say no and I feel it demonstrates my level of concern so even using it with friends, they are more cautious.

They have Snapchat and WhatsApp with very strict rules and monitoring although I’ve relaxed the monitoring as they’ve been fab and demonstrated maturity. When anything has happened they come straight to me and ask for advice (usually friends being mean on groups and they don’t want to be involved - generally they say something then leave the group willingly).

Teens need to develop the skills so it’s not all at once as an adult but the number of parents who let their dc have phones with no control astounds me. In our house, phones stay downstairs over night. Dd1 has hers in her room since 17.

I remember reading about a teenager who died of deep vein thrombosis because he'd been online gaming for so long. His mum should have sued the government.

Thank you and forgive my ignorance. Can the government not restrict access to those sites, info, apps? Make them illegal ?

Do you have children? Do you manage to do that? Are you around every single minute they are accessing the internet for homework, etc?

How old are they? How long did you manage to do it for? would be grated for advice

Thank you all; we do have control and rules and speak to them; but I just feel there is so much harming information there which is difficult to control all the time.

They can access at friends, etc.

The dark web is illegal but it doesn't stop people going to it. ISPs can stop you accessing a site but as above pp said all you need is a VPN to get around that. The issue from my experience is parents lack of knowledge with social media. Snapchat is used for bullying but parents thinks it's harmless. TikTok has horrendous content that just pops up, data harvests and sends it back to China but people let their kids on it. Roblox has minimal safeguarding on and is known for grooming but parents still let their kids use it. You need to remove these apps, monitor internet usage or better still have safesearch on. I don't agree fully with teens not having phones as I think it's important to teach them how to use them properly and the importance of online safety.

Agree. Many parents including me are ignorant and not technology savvy; you also need time and keep an eye all the time which is impossible. How do I put search safe on?

I find it quite difficult to restrict

Most harmful sites are outside the UK. The government can make them illegal, but they still exist as we don't have control over other countries laws.

How old are your kids? Start by putting Family Link, or whatever the Apple version is so you can at least start putting limits on them.

Op i agree. I find it ludicrous that after the age of 13 children can turn of parental controls - in accordance with your countries laws.
I don't think young teens should be on social media.
I hate Snapchat with a passion it's a platform for bullying.

The dark web is not illegal nor is it illegal to use an dark web browser. Just like the "regular internet" it only becomes criminal if you access illegal site or purchase illegal items (drugs, guns, hit-man services, hacked information). It is used by criminals and hosts most illegal content because it's an entirely encrypted network so is almost completely untraceable and anonymous.

But not all the content is bad.
Whistleblowers and activists use the dark web to communicate with journalists and other organizations as just one example.

Maybe the best thing the government could do is have free, easily accessible, IT training courses for parents, focusing on how to keep kids safe.

There's no technical fix, it's got to be social engineering instead

Yes see I agree with you. I think there should be teenage friendly mode’s on apps like Snapchat, TiKTok, where key words are blocked. You should prove when you’re 18 that you’re of age with some sort of ID and then you can use Snapchat and Tik tok as usual.

I know it’s really hard to control everything and there are obviously loopholes, but I think it will stop a lot of bullying if teenagers type certain words it blocks their account or stops them from sending

Oh, but I do agree it’s mainly on the parents to keep their child safe.

What is and isn't acceptable content for people to access? Who decides? So the government says right violent porn is banned, bestiality banned, information promoting eating disorders is banned, information about suicide methods is banned, everyone nods. What about information about pro Palestinian groups, should that be banned? What about information that criticises some religions. It was only in the 70s there were court cases using blasphemy laws that prosecuted people for publishing poems (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitehouse_v_Lemon). What about a website for Extinction Rebellion - should that be blocked? Once you start deciding what is and isn't acceptable content, the line is going to get moved.

Should you draw a line and say adults can access this content, but children can't, and insist on proper proof of age e.g. you have to show a government official your birth certificate to get an "adult internet account" and be able to access things like social media or porn? (That was basically being proposed very recently - going and getting a licence to be able to access porn online).

Thank you all. I am not saying the government should be totally responsible but there should be more controls. We as parents are responsible but there should be a join effort, more information and training for parents too. It is not a easy, many of us are falling behind technology wise.

NSPCC online safety:
https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/

There's a lot of info here:
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-keeping-children-safe-online/coronavirus-covid-19-support-for-parents-and-carers-to-keep-children-safe-online

Thank you. Thankfully I am off work at the moment and have more time to read and train myself. Sadly many parents are struggling with time, working and other life demands and is difficult to keep an eye all the time.

No problem, you're understandably concerned. I agree that a short course on online safety should be mandatory. The second link is very comprehensive and full of organisations you can contact for further help.

It’s not the government’s responsibility. And I say that as a step parent to a now young adult whose life has been ruined by what she was accessing and doing online. She can’t ever have the years back she’s lost and it’s doubtful she’ll ever reach her full potential now. Not to mention the countless other lives deeply affected by it and relationships ruined. But it really isn’t the government’s fault in this case

It is for you to parent your children. Not the British government.

Sorry to hear that. It is sad how many children life are being affected by damaging online content.

They are so young and vulnerable and have access to so much information their brain doesn’t have the maturity to process,

I still believe more should be done to protect children; but yes, parents have ultimate responsibility and control.