Physical descriptions in the office, a No-Go?

[wand3rer]

Bit of an odd one. I’ve been out of the corporate world for over a decade and a lot has changed 😁

My issue is that I’m awful at remembering names, which makes it tricky to refer to someone I’ve just chatted with. I’m usually fine once I’ve seen names around on Teams or in emails. But, early on, I sometimes have to describe people and I’m unsure what is considered okay these days.

For example, the last time I said “a lady who is a little shorter than me with curly hair”. The reaction I got was a bit stiff as if I’d said something off. Just to be clear, the lady was white (I didn't mean afro hair or anything culturally specific).

It made me wonder... Are we avoiding physical descriptions altogether now? What is the right way to handle this? 🙏

• Unreasonable: don't use any physical description
• Reasonable: physical descriptors are fine as long as not loaded with negative or biased undertones

I can't imagine giving a shit about any of this - it's not like you said "that fat ugly woman"

I don't even see the issue with describing someone like "the black guy at the end desk" - I read a story where someone described their new boyfriend to a friend as "the black guy at the bar" (they were meeting him there and he had arrived first). The friend was horrified, the girlfriend told him and he said "it's ok love, I am aware I am black" 😂

Wouldn't bother me at all to be "the white woman" if this was the most defining feature about me in that particular situation - I am one!

@BalladOfBarryAndFreda
Will do 😅

😂

@Dozer @InWalksBarberalla @Fratolish
In a different setup, mentioning someone’s job title might help identify them. But in this case, they all do the exact same thing as part of one big team. Around 40–50 people across different shifts 😇

@EnchantedEvidence
I’ll definitely suggest that! 😊

Such a good trick! 😁

@NotSmallButFunSize
I had a similar thing happen a few years back when I started a new sport, trying to find the person in charge. I was told to look for “a tall guy with black hair.” There were eight of them. The person I was meant to find was the only Black person at the club. Would’ve been way easier to just say that! 😁

Thanks, everyone!

I’ve been identified by one of my physical features my whole life. Never really thought much of it, but I’m trying to stay mindful that times are changing.

Loved hearing all your perspectives 🙏