To hate working?

[657904I]

I don’t know how to explain this. I have a degree and masters, have always been really ambitious with the view to having a good career. Worked hard, even holding multiple jobs whilst at university and working full time throughout university.

Generally loved working. As a result I got promoted often at a young age, lots of good feedback, landed my dream job in my graduate industry relatively easy, worked hard and later became a senior manager in the field I liked. Now that I’m here…I hate it. I have taken some time off, and find myself not wanting to return to work.

The industry itself, I love and find fulfilling. I work in data science and love being technical. But the people/management side of things, I find absolutely draining. Aibu to genuinely hate work and find the idea of work depressing?

I do work in a significantly terrible workplace (think grievances, employment tribunal issues) so part of it is due to a bad experience. but I also worry that some of the issues I have come across may happen at other workplaces to a lesser extent. I am still relatively young & have some savings to not need to work for a while, but I’m not sure if that’s the right step.

I love my job. It's intellectually challanging and financially very rewarding. I have had bad managers though early in my career and it can make your life hell. You need to transition to a different firm IMO if you like the industry.

Also, in the current climate with AI making so many roles redundant, you should not quit your job as it would be very hard to get back in. Try to slow down and look for another role in the meantime.

YANBU. I hate working too. Didn't realise how much I hated it till I became a SAHM. We've checked finances and I'm going to stay home for the foreseeable! I realise we're lucky that way to live off one wage, but it works for our family x

Thank you both. My masters involves AI so hopefully my role wouldn’t be made redundant by AI, I’d rather be seen as an AI expert, but I guess taking time out would make my skills rusty.

yeah it’s weird, I suppose a lot of women do become SAHMs and that’s normal. I guess I just feel conflicted as I have always been focused on a career.

YANBU I think it’s perfectly common to feel like this at certain points in your career and/or because of certain parts of your role.

I was hugely ambitious and worked my way up the corporate ladder in my 20s-early 30s. Burnt out and moved into something more rewarding and offering more work/life balance.

I’m 10 years into my second career now and life events have made it a tough 12 months for me. I’m knackered and emotionally burnt out. I’ve noticed recently I’m struggling to get out of bed weekday mornings, but I’m up with the larks at the weekend when I don’t work.

I think I’m bored in my current role, but it offers great flexibility so I’m not ready to give it up.

Can you speak to your line manager to discuss amending your role to remove people management? Or is it something a bit of management training/coaching could help you with?

Dont make any rash decisions, but equally, if you can afford to leave, don’t stay in a job that makes you miserable.x

@RadiatorDial thank you. My issue is a bit complex in that my manager tried it on with me and the company is siding with him. So essentially I’m going to have to look for work elsewhere as there’s no future for me there.

@657904I thats awful, I’m sorry to hear that.

Have you been through a full grievance process? I appreciate you probably just want to exit asap, but take legal advice if you haven’t already (if you can’t pay, look on the LawWorks website for free help and I think ACAS do a free one off call as well).

The best time to get a job is when you have one, so focus all efforts on finding a new one. Is it worth getting signed off sick with stress for a while so you don’t have to face work and can regroup? If all else fails, do you have any savings you can fall back on for a few months?

Perhaps you’ve moved away from the aspects of the job that you actually enjoyed doing.

People management is draining! I'm in the same boat as you OP and am wondering how long I can stay in this. I can't believe I have to have conversations with grown "professional" adults about their behaviour towards others - some people are bullying dicks in the workplace and it's shit. I don't know how they have managed to get away with it so far.

The approach I'm taking is to adhere very closely to the HR policies and luckily the biggest culprit in my team is seeing themselves out the door.

I’m similar in that I work in engineering and the expected career progression is to go from doing the actual technical part of the job, become chartered and then go on to being a manager. The thought of that makes my insides shrivel!
I chose not to become chartered so that I could carry on doing the technical things but it is limiting in terms of pay. You have a shed load of experience but can’t be promoted to a higher grade with higher pay as you get too expensive for clients.

I am now in a job where they will support me getting chartered, and bump me up the pay scale. I can be a Technical Lead, so can carry on doing technical stuff day to day but provide support and advice to others if needed.

It sounds like that is what you want, OP.

You don't hate working, you hate your current workplace and more specifically the managerial aspects of your job.

I loved my last job. It had a couple of people I didn't get along with, but on the whole it was fantastic. I had respect, autonomy, promotions, conferences, opportunities, people seeking me out etc. Then it went to sh*t as we got a new division manager, determined to make their mark (for their resume) and move on. It became unbearable. Our department was eventually made redundant. Apparently it's now a horrible place to work and getting worse.

I now work for a small private firm, and hate going every day. I'm isolated, poorly paid, untrained, my skills ignored, and I don't collaborate with my team as they are cliquey and the manager has a grudge against my partner (also works at the firm) so ensures I don't get opportunities or training. The manager works full time remote so I get a 30 minute Zoom each week. That's it, or none if she cancels. I need school hours, which they allow, and is very, very rare around here. Or else I'd leave. I'd enjoy the job if I had better conditions.

You've just had a bad experience. A new job in a better workplace is probably all you need to fire you up again.

I would look for more senior technical roles not management OP.

H is a techie and has resisted management roles all his career as he would rather be a guru techie not a manager.

So find your attitude of fuck that sad little man, using his position possibly to try it on because he can’t elsewhere, sad little man, and look for your well paid escape route.

If you are not, get signed up with top techie/AI recruitment agencies. Of all the industries AI is one that is growing - keep your skills updated, look outside UK (if you are in UK)

You have the potential to have a vibrant future in possibly the most influential industry of these times.

Don’t let the bastards grind you down OP.

Can you go back into a technical role as an expert or perhaps go into consultancy? I'm similar in that I'm an expert in my field but no desire to be a people manager and I know I'd be no good at it.

Fortunately my long term employer has finally managed to introduce a grade for people like me so I'm no longer under pressure to 'step up' and be a manager but am paid the same as the middle managers in recognition of my skills, knowledge and experience.

With AI, the real growth industry the way I see it, will be making sure people use AI effectively but wisely so they're not fooled by all the inaccuracies it passes off as fact, keep sensitive information out of the wrong hands and to actually usefully help businesses/people with constructive efficiencies rather than tasks that could be done more effectively by a human (I've heard colleagues say things like 'I used AI to do this task' and it's taken them hours, been really fiddly and the outcome was rubbish and I've just thought 'I could have done that in less than half an hour with nothing more than a bit of cutting and pasting in Excel') or is not fit for purpose and just pisses people off like customer support chatbots that wilfully misunderstands your issue and just has you going round in circles. So something to do with that whether it be business consultancy, training, whatever.

Yanbu. It is a complete waste of life that could be spend doing much more interesting things

I work in a creative position I'd always wanted to be in. I feel lucky to be doing this over other paths I could have taken. But the fact I'm working for other people 8 hours a day is annoying. Even when I worked for myself, I was working for clients really. I really wouldn't mind six months off.

Could you become a contractor in your field instead of a permanent employee. My DH hates being pushed into management, here office politics, but still enjoys the techie stuff: He’s tried a few permanent jobs in the past few years, but he always goes back to contracting. Knowing you can easily walk away makes a big difference to your state of mind.

Thanks for all the replies. I’ll digest them and respond soon. I do think part of how I’m feeling is anxiety but idk how to really shake it off