It’s gonna be a looong summer!

[Loveduppenguin]

Dc are 12 and 9…I have them 50:50 with exh (which you think would make it easy) but as I wfh every Thursday and Friday it’s easier if I have the dc on the Friday every week. Dd12 is not interested in summer camps any more. And tbh it does save money to not HAVE to send them. I took last week off as they finished on Tuesday. So that was the first week started. Yesterday I was working from home an extra day and so I ended up taking my DC with me to visit my cousin who is doing a brunch for a lot of family. I had to take my laptop. And do a meeting while I was there, but it was great for the DC because they got to play with their cousins. We were only there 2 1/2 hours but it filled up the day. DD 12 had training last night, so she got a bit of exercise done.
Then today they didn’t really do anything, they were happy just chilling, I was wfh. DS9 had a birthday party this evening so is at the cinema. So that’s great for him.
Dd has asked me if her friend can come round tomorrow and can they go horse trekking(at 25 each!) Ds is having a friend round at about 230 tomorrow and I finish up work a little bit earlier at 3:30.
I suppose my moan is but it’s only week two and I’m trying to find things for them to do. I hate that they’re home when I’m wfh because I feel like they’re not having a good time even though they don’t complain…but still. It’s gonna be long summer… anyone else want to join in the moan?

No one else?! 🤣🤣

Shorter summer holidays would mean higher prices for going away. It's tough but it could be worse.

Does the 12 year old want you to find things for him to do? That's the issue, we've got this idea that children need to be doing something special. Just try to do the cousin meet up and a Ninja warrior (or whatever they are into). Granted it's a awkward transitional age.

Do they have bikes? are you somewhere they can safely cycle? Farm tracks, tow paths, common?

The older one could go to the cinema or swimming with her friends. The younger one could have a friend over. Buy frozen pizza & ice cream. Buy some garden games from Jaques and set them up outside. A couple of cheap sun loungers for the garden and a large bottle of factor 50.

Sometimes it’s nice being in the house with you working and just having the home environment. Knowing that someone is in the other room whilst you’re chilling.

It sounds like your children have already done quite a few things. It doesn’t have to be popping all the time.

Also this is how it would be if you had then 100% of the time. So you get to experience what that is like.

They don’t have anywhere safe here at mine to cycle (or bikes) the bikes are at their dads house as it suits better there.

older dd is happy chilling some days, it’s me who feel guilty about it, I suppose. I’m thinking if I can do a play date a week for them then that will keep them happy. It’s all Mum guilt I suppose when I think about it. 😢

however, any activities that they do will require me getting in the car because we live rurally so they can’t just walk to the swimming pool or anything like that.

This is only year three of doing 50-50 custody, so I know what it’s like to happen full-time. I get it, I just have Mum guilty I suppose.

Hire a hot tub if you have space - great fun to invite their friends, have parties. You can include cold water for hot days and warm it up if not.

Tent in the garden for sleepovers and. Camping experience.

Rurally they can walk if they can’t ride and collect berries etc.

Painting, reading and no screens. Crafts etc.

I would be paying them to do jobs. Wash cars, gardening etc. My dd set up a vinted business.

They can cook you dinner one evening. Something simple and safe.

Take the pressure off? They need a rest.

Find a family with siblings roughly the same age as yours and swap childcare. Your DC must have friends with siblings, so you offer to have the friends over, and then yours go to theirs on a different day. Most working families are cobbling arrangements together, the kids will entertain each other. I had arrangements like this with 3 or 4 different families of schoolfriends. It doesn't have to be best mates, just someone else to watch a film and play games together, or be taken to the park.

Do you not have the money to buy or run the hot tub, unfortunately… nor do I have a tent. I don’t do Camping. 😂 there’s a tent at their dads though so they get that opportunity at their Dads.
To be honest, I wouldn’t let them out the road on their own so walking on those roads, not an option right now.

DS will play with Legoand they might do some crafts yes.

paying them to do jobs, it’s like trying to pull teeth! It doesn’t work and they end up doing a half hour job that I need to intervene with 😆

DD loves cooking and helps me most evenings to be honest so that’s nothing different for her…she loves baking too.

A down day is literally a down day we don’t do a whole lot and as I’m working, there’s not a lot I can actually do to get involved with them… and that’s where the guilt kicks in…

Funnily enough, most of their friends seem to have a parent at home during the week or they are at camp/ grandparents etc so nobody is as in need of the childcare. I Don’t really even NEED childcare myself it’s just I want them to feel like they’re having a good summer. I have invited a friend round for tomorrow afternoon for a play date so they probably will be a play date in return. But I don’t expect it. My parents are away a lot during the summer (and so they should be as they are living their life) so I don’t bank on them being around too much although when they are home, they will take them off for a day or two. I’m by no means in the worst position and I know that it’s just that it’s only a week two and we have until the end of August. 😂😂😭😭

Ask them to come up with ten ideas each - write them down - they need to cost little or nothing. Scrunch them up, pop them in a jar and they take it in turns picking one each day

Will do this! Thank you!

was going to suggest the jar thing, great idea. Make sure there are some additional “jackpot” items like ‘go for ice cremes’ and ‘tidy underneath the bed’.

I have very fond memories of these for the holidays. As for Mum guilt, remind yourself that allowing your D.C. to be bored and find things to do they enjoy without spending too much money is an absolutely essential skill your job is to create the environment where they can feel bored and work out for themselves what to do. Essential training for all creative artists.

Yeah just find one, easy

They're old enough to entertain themselves, it is not every day, invite friends over and rearrange for them to have your children over.

They can read, watch netflix, tidy the garden for cash, they don't need full on entertainment. Being bored helps with resilience.

Dd12 has her friend over today (I collected her at 7:30 before I started work. DS9 is watching tv (roll on the guilt) but he has a friend coming round at 2:30 for a play date and I’ll take them to the park for a while. DD and her friend are booked into a horse riding session. So that’s today sorted…only 7 more weeks to go!! 😆😆