To think this woman should be thoroughly ashamed of herself?

[Tarjet]

My son was driving to work at the weekend and was waiting for a car parking space. A woman in a huge Range Rover reversed out of the space at speed and hit my son’s car. He was far enough back to see what was going to happen and blast his horn. She still kept on coming.

The damage was fortunately quite minimal but my son’s little fiesta needs a panel realigned. At the time the woman was hugely apologetic, admitted fault (and when my son rang me I could hear her in the background still apologising).

They exchanged details and she asked if she could pay for the repair without going through insurance - which was perfect as I know even a ‘no fault claim’ bumps your premium up.

Fast forward to today - son messaged her with the repair update (it’s being assessed tomorrow) and she’s now changed her tune and blaming my son for the accident and is now going through the insurance as her car has a dent. Or she said he could pay to have it fixed! The fucking audacity is making my blood boil.

Anything I can do before I explode in anger?

We think there is CCTV at the retail park so that will be my first step I think.

Please people don’t feel afraid to contact your insurer and just don’t trust when people say they want to settle outside an insurer. This is because they could just be messing you about never intending to pay up and by then more time has gone making you look less credible in the eyes of your insurer for not having been immediately honest. Also, sometimes the person is genuine and admits liability but then gets strong armed by a partner to say opposite.

Also it’s never straightforward! Eg I got hit from behind whilst stationery at lights on a very busy main road so assumed it was pretty straightforward re liability and payout but oh my goodness dragged on for best part of 2 years! Eventually found in my favour but very stressful.

The most surprising one was when a few months ago I tapped the bumper of a car as I was reversing. The owner saw it and shouted at me then spent 20 mins examing both cars but there was not a mark to be seen. He later apologised and we had a nice little chat (was in Dr car park so exchanging ailments 😅). But then he went all funny though kept saying he wouldn’t be reporting but was ‘just in case’ (whatever that meant) and still wanted details so I gave them to him. Before I left I took photos of his and my car and immediately told my insurer and they told me they accepted my version as couldn’t see any damage and would use my photos as proof in case he tried to claim later (or show different photos). So when my renewal came through, I was expecting an increase because of that incident where I had obviously admitted fault - but my premium was actually about £40 less - which was a very unexpected but welcome surprise!

This is why we bought dash cameras. We had a lot of very close calls, mainly with older drivers who did not signal and did not check when changing lanes. With the ever increasing number of cars on our roads, cars getting bigger and bigger, and more drivers that lack awareness of what's going on around them I think an accident sooner or later is inevitable.

I'd be very careful of ' let's not go through insurance'. The issue is that you are supposed to report accidents immediately really. So probably okay as it's only a few days but your son needs to now go straight to insurance.

I scraped the edge of my neighbours car and we sorted outside insurance, but he is my next door neighbour (so I have skin in the game to maintain a relationship), it was very clear cut, and I proactively followed it up all the way through (plus I'm not a twat).

The fact your DS seems to have been chasing her to send the repair update maybe sets off alarm bells that he was possibly too trusting.

Your son’s insurer should try to get any CCTV footage asap, some gets wiped in days, others up to 30. And as others said, never settle privately, too many CFs flip the story later. I had someone crash into my car when it was stopped at a red light, admit fault, then claim I stopped “for no reason.” Thankfully I had a dash cam.

I'm a judge and the only way your son would be at fault is if he was driving a BMW. Me and all my judge colleagues just assume people that drive those are always guilty.

by law you still need to tell your insurance company even if you pay privately for repairs because if the insurance company find out/see the repair during a future appraisal for example, then your insurance will be voided!

Not a HUGE evil Range Rover and a poor sweet LITTLE fiesta.
🤣🤣🤣

Oh yeah, it’s because you had a BMW! Obs 🙄

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Do you even let it go to trial?

just go through insurance. Report it now and get your side in. Damage to your sons car will prove she reversed into it

‘Me and all my judge colleagues’ 🤣

Over 10 years ago, a man backed into me in a supermarket car park, then drove off without stopping . Luckily, I got his numberplate and another woman who'd seen it said she'd be a witness. I reported it to the police and when they talked to the man, he denied all knowledge! However, the insurance company agreed he was entirely to blame and paid up in full. It was only a little dent in the driver's door but the bill was over £500. It didn't seem to affect my insurance premium.

I’m a judge and so is my wife. I thought all judges have BMWs?

a bit late now but get him to fit a dash cam.

Oh OP, I completely understand your frustration – the nerve of it! Your son did everything right, and now he's being manipulated into thinking it's his fault? Absolutely not.
Here’s a practical plan to tackle this (take a deep breath – you’ve got this):
Get That CCTV ASAP
Retail park CCTV might be the key. These places often store footage for a limited time (7–30 days), so act quickly. Visit in person if possible – they’re often more cooperative that way.
Bring the exact time and location of the incident.
Ask if they require a police or insurance reference number to release it.
If they won’t release it directly, request written confirmation that the footage exists so your insurer can access it.
Let Insurance Handle It
Since it’s an insurance claim now, let them take over. Avoid direct communication with her – stick to brief, polite written exchanges. Her inconsistency is a red flag and she might twist your son’s words.
Keep a Clear Record
Ensure your son documents everything:
A detailed timeline of events
Photos of the car damage
Screenshots of all messages with her
Notes from the initial call (her admission of fault is critical)
And Now… Dash Cams Are the Future
This incident highlights why dash cams are a must-have for drivers, especially newer ones without the “I’ve-seen-it-all” experience.
They’re affordable – £40–£70 for decent front + rear models.
They provide irrefutable evidence – no arguments, no memory gaps, no “he said/she said.”
Insurers often offer discounts for having one.
In cases like this, they can immediately disprove false claims.
If your son had a dash cam, this would already be resolved. It’s frustrating that we need to protect ourselves from dishonesty – but unfortunately, it’s necessary.
You’re absolutely justified in being upset – now it’s time to take action.

this. lesson 1 always always always go through insurance. always.

Slightly different.my DH was hit from behind while stationary.she kept apologising BUT she went and told insurers she’d been hit,years ago if you rear ended someone it was always your fault but apparently not anymore.DH eventually lost his job cos of that cow

I would never not report an incident to my insurance company. It’s what you pay insurance for and if you pay for free legal expenses on your policy you can get your excess back and possibly protect your NCD if the accident is not your fault. The insurance company won’t be happy that your son didn’t report this at the time. Why would you trust the word of a stranger who caused the accident

NC for this as friends have heard the story.

Of course she should be ashamed of herself but I will always be grateful to someone who didn’t insist on going through insurance:

As a young postgraduate student on a very low wage, I lightly scraped the expensive sports car parked next to my old banger as I was exiting a tight parking space in a poorly lit public garage. I really could not afford an increase in my premium and public transport was very poor.

No one was around and there wasn’t much CCTV in use in my country back then so I probably could have got away with leaving the scene. I left a note with all the necessary details, explained that I was a doctoral student on an assistantship, and asked the driver to consider ringing me. He did, I offered to pay directly, he started asking about my studies, my supervisor, etc. Turns out he was a (very well paid) professor in the medical school. He agreed to get some estimates and ring me back - he even knew my office via the campus directory - but I never heard from him again. My insurance remained unblemished.

Don't put that in writing you should always put an accident through insurance and theoretically tell the police you are putting yourself in the wrong. Just say it is going through your insurance, and that's it.

The moving car is at fault.

He needs to emphasise to the insurance agent who will call that he was not moving at all, had his foot firmly on the brake, or in lark if an automatic,and was waiting for the other driver to vacate the space. Emphasise he was not moving forward.

He will also be asked what if anything he did to prevent the accident. Blowing the horn loudly is OK as far as it goes, but could he have reversed quickly? He may well be asked what kept him from doing this.

If there were witnesses to the accident that would be ideal.

Yes to this.

It's a financial matter. Don't take any of it personally. There is no need for mud slinging.

Agree.

It should always go through insurance. It’s there to protect you and legally you have to tell them anyway. You’ve given your son really bad advice there. Insurance companies do also advise not to admit liability so there is that. Doesn’t mean lying is ok but oh crap let’s take photos and pass to insurance should always be the go to response. Also if there are any witnesses then ask if they’ll give their details. Make sure your son knows this in future. Also get him a dashcam. They’re relatively cheap and so worth it for situations like this. Practically, try to get the CCTV but other than that there’s not much you can do except let the insurers handle it. And if it helps you feel better RR lady is probably worrying her snazzy car is now uninsurable- they’re not easy to insure at the best of times due to all the thefts but it’ll be even harder after a crash.