I know everything about everyone’s lives and they know nothing about mine

[throweay]

In all aspects of my life, friends, work etc. people seem to just talk at me. I am a good listener, but people just go on about themselves and never ask me any questions.

For example, I could tell you the intricate details of the lives of so many colleagues, but they’d be able to tell you next to nothing about me.

The same with dating, I’m just listening to men talk about themselves the whole time.

People barely ask me any questions, ever.

Is this a me thing?

Yes! I’m exact same, I wondered if I just had a face. Then I realised I’m not asking the right questions!

I'm the same with some people, but the difference is, I don't really care. I have colleagues where I know every detail of their and all their family members' lives yet I they don't think they could even name my kids!

So many self absorbed twits out there.

I’m the same. Friends seem to talk at me. And sometimes when I talk they just go silent or give minimal responses. I feel better letting them talk.

Well, if it bothers you that they don’t know things about you, tell them. If it bothers you they don’t want to know things about you, that’s a different matter.

Quite. Volunteer information. Don’t wait to be asked.

Agree with this!

This is me

I am a talker and I talk crap a lot of the time. I don't like to ask intrusive questions if people don't want to offer info, so I tend to prattle on after asking a few questions and not getting anywhere.

If this happens in all areas of your life the common denominator must be you. I know a school run mum who asks so many questions and always with a follow up that to ask her anything back before we run out of time I basically have to say no to answering her third question and ask her one. It’s really awkward.

not all conversations have to be question and answer format. Do you not offer anything without a question? Eg. “Have you got a holiday booked?” Person says “yes we’re off to France on Saturday” instead of asking another question like “where are you staying?” you say “oh how lovely we went to France last year but booked Portugal this time”. It’s far more natural than the second person desperately trying to answer but also turn the flow of questions around.

Yes. It’s like someone sitting at a table at which everyone else is cheerfully tucking into food, hungry and resentful, because they think it’s ‘manners’ to wait till someone passes the rock buns.

I always feel it's rude to ask too many questions, if people want to volunteer information I am happy to listen but I don't want to intrude by asking a question.
Eg. I would love to hear about their children if they have them but I could be causing all sorts of upset if they were to ask.

I should have added that I do try to talk about myself, my own life, but it’s met with disinterest and/or very little response.

To be fair, if you are prattling on to fill the (awkward?) gaps, they may retain more than you realise but may not address it. Also, if you are talking freely, they may feel like they know plenty, in a good way. Regularly, friend-colleagues make comments which suggest that other colleagues talk about me when I am not there! It's a weird idea since I reckon I am mostly out of mind for most folk. Be sure to ask plently of open questions and wait for answers.

I experience that as well. I think it depends on the person you’re talking to. I have some friends who talk AT me, and other friends who do ask me questions too (and show a little bit more interest).