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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate group chats

3 replies

CircusofPuffins · 03/07/2025 11:08

Surely I can't be the only one who wonders why we ever decided to let the nuisance of group chats become so common in our lives? Does anybody actually like or enjoy being part of one?!

Recently got invited to a group chat for people in my community to discuss a local planning issue, and it's already driving me mad. 50+ people (I'm unsure of the exact number), most of whom I don't know and have never met, constantly messaging seemingly every moment of the day. People sending low-quality images of wildlife etc that they've spotted (I'm talking the type of photo where you have to try and work out whether the brown blurry pixel is some kind of bird, hare or a deer) that WhatsApp automatically saves to your image gallery so your phone inevitably ends up full of crap.

I've had to turn all notifications off just for the sake of my own sanity.

But I think probably the worse group chats are the family ones - specifically when you get added to a partner's family group chat. No matter how much you might love your partner, you probably don't need your father-in-law/brother-in-law/some distant far flung uncle regularly sending unfunny memes or pointless messages to say they're "just on my way now" etc for some gathering you're not part of.

Of course, somebody will probably reply and say "Well, you don't have to join, or you can leave if they annoy you so much". When in reality, people are so needlessly passive-aggressive about these chats! In many cases you have no choice in the matter, you're automatically added. And then it's like Hotel California, because when you're in, you can then never leave without causing some almighty drama as to why you've left the group chat, like it's the single most disrespectful thing you can ever do!

As you can probably tell, I hate all forms of group chat with a passion. Please can we collectively decide to stop making these a thing?

OP posts:
Zov · 03/07/2025 11:09

YANBU I will never join these monstrosities, I only have one 'group' and that's my (immediate) family one. Just 6 of us in there. Me, DH, our 2 adult DC, and their partners........

2025emanresu · 03/07/2025 11:22

I believe you can change your settings so that you aren't automatically added to group chats and instead have to accept. Won't save you from the ones you are already in but could limit your exposure in the future. Although I appreciate there is still the expectation that you would accept...

The mute option is your friend.

DownsideUpside · 03/07/2025 11:42

You can change the settings so photos aren’t automatically saved.

But yes they are very annoying. Especially when people are having a conversation between themselves within a group chat. No one cares!

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