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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone awake? Need a hug!

37 replies

Hardythere · 03/07/2025 01:45

I’m lay in bed next to my 3 year old, waiting for him to be sick.
we spent almost 5 hours in A&E today, surrounded by sick kids, my DC rolling around the floor, playing with the toys that were there(I thought that died when Covid struck?!). I’m a quivering mess. I used alcohol gel on his hands a few times but that doesn’t do anything to norovirus.
incase you hadn’t already guessed, I have emetaphobia.
We were in A&E for something minor(in the grand scheme of things) and were eventually sent home with the issue unresolved, to go back to a specialist dept in the morning.
im so tired. Exhausted. I desperately need to sleep but I can’t/dint want to, incase he’s sick and I’m not ready for it
i know it’s not a given that he will be, but the chances have increased since being exposed to the germ soup!
I should take a diazepam, but they make me sleepy…

OP posts:
Noshadelamp · 03/07/2025 01:52

Hugs op!

Keep breathing, I like box breathing when stressed and also EFT tapping, really simple to do yourself and helps calm the nervous system. Lots of YouTube videos if you're interested or after a distraction.

If it helps, I was in a&e on Sunday for 9 hours, needed to come back to the emergency clinic Monday and Tuesday, and although I wasn't rolling around on the floor I was surrounded by people with sickness and I've been ok. I was worried for myself but I don't have your condition so I appreciate your situation is a lot worse 💐

iamnotalemon · 03/07/2025 01:52

Oh I’m sorry you’re struggling x

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 01:54

I hate being like this. I recently started CBT but simply didn’t get chance to do the ‘homework’ around kids etc. plus, it was horrible. I do realise it’s not an easy fix. But my bottle went and I stopped last week.

OP posts:
sleepandcoffee · 03/07/2025 01:56

I would think it’s unlikely for him to be sick tonight if he was ill , it would normally take longer for something like noro to show up , not sure if thats helpful for you really but you can absolutely get bed and get some sleep

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 01:59

sleepandcoffee · 03/07/2025 01:56

I would think it’s unlikely for him to be sick tonight if he was ill , it would normally take longer for something like noro to show up , not sure if thats helpful for you really but you can absolutely get bed and get some sleep

I wish I shared your optimism. Noro can appear within 4 hours of exposure.

OP posts:
crumblingschools · 03/07/2025 02:01

Surely you would be in a much better place for your DC if you get some sleep. Then if they are ill you will at least have had some rest beforehand.

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:02

crumblingschools · 03/07/2025 02:01

Surely you would be in a much better place for your DC if you get some sleep. Then if they are ill you will at least have had some rest beforehand.

I completely agree with you. But I’m like a coiled spring!

OP posts:
Notashamed13 · 03/07/2025 02:05

Fellow emetophobe here, no advice but here's a virtual hug, it's such a debilitating phobia. If it's any help I always find that the anticipation is worse than the actual event, just make sure you are prepared (towels, bowl etc), good luck OP, you got this! Xx

pikkumyy77 · 03/07/2025 02:06

Hugs!! Hugs!! Hugs!!

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:10

Notashamed13 · 03/07/2025 02:05

Fellow emetophobe here, no advice but here's a virtual hug, it's such a debilitating phobia. If it's any help I always find that the anticipation is worse than the actual event, just make sure you are prepared (towels, bowl etc), good luck OP, you got this! Xx

Yup. Towel on the bed ready. Yes, the anticipation is horrendous. Absolute torture. Thanks for the solidarity x

OP posts:
Notashamed13 · 03/07/2025 02:13

And remember, it's not guaranteed!

Steelworks · 03/07/2025 02:16

I’m sorry you feel like this.

Were any of the kids you were with actually vomiting? If not, it’s unlikely your bed will be sick. Novo virus is a horrible bug, and if they had it, they woukd be too poorly to feel like playing. Chances are they had non-infectious illness like your dc.

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:17

Notashamed13 · 03/07/2025 02:13

And remember, it's not guaranteed!

I know. I’m flouting between this and ‘it’s inevitable after TODAY!’
the cat has joined us in bed and is happy I’m awake to strike her. Although she keeps walking over DC which isn’t ideal. Here’s me, trying not to move or breathe too deeply in case I wake him up. Then DCat just strolls across him and boops her nose onto his.
Eff off cat!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:20

Steelworks · 03/07/2025 02:16

I’m sorry you feel like this.

Were any of the kids you were with actually vomiting? If not, it’s unlikely your bed will be sick. Novo virus is a horrible bug, and if they had it, they woukd be too poorly to feel like playing. Chances are they had non-infectious illness like your dc.

There was one kid sat with his mum and one of those horrible paper bowls(god I hate the sight of them!) and another mum and dad with a small baby who were also clutching onto the evil bowl. I kept us well away from them of course. But you don’t know who’s sat where we did before we arrived. Didn’t see a cleaner once in the time we were there. I wanted to grab a bottle of bleach and squirt it all over those horrible grubby toys they were all slobbering over. I could cry just thinking about it

OP posts:
mummybearSW19 · 03/07/2025 02:21

You can’t take a tablet and share a bed with your kid so forget that.

remember. Those toys are cleaned every day.

ans the really sick kids would be too sick to play with them
so you are safe.

try to sleep.
sending you hugs

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:21

Stroke the cat! I won’t strike her!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:22

mummybearSW19 · 03/07/2025 02:21

You can’t take a tablet and share a bed with your kid so forget that.

remember. Those toys are cleaned every day.

ans the really sick kids would be too sick to play with them
so you are safe.

try to sleep.
sending you hugs

I can assure you, these toys hadn’t been cleaned in a VERY long time. They were visibly dirty shudders

OP posts:
bendmeoverbackwards · 03/07/2025 02:23

Thinking of you OP, same phobia here.

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:27

bendmeoverbackwards · 03/07/2025 02:23

Thinking of you OP, same phobia here.

It’s the pits isn’t it. I have 2 other DC in the house(older) and I’m the only ‘adult’. Need to get those 2 to school in the morning then try and not look like some demented mother when I turn up at the(bastard) hospital again

OP posts:
Steelworks · 03/07/2025 02:36

Actually, the last thing you need is a hug if you’re worried about catching germs…! (Trying to lighten the mood),

TheM55 · 03/07/2025 02:37

Notashamed13 · 03/07/2025 02:05

Fellow emetophobe here, no advice but here's a virtual hug, it's such a debilitating phobia. If it's any help I always find that the anticipation is worse than the actual event, just make sure you are prepared (towels, bowl etc), good luck OP, you got this! Xx

Completely agree with this. It is a horrible phobia to have, and difficult to overcome. Unless he already has norovirus though, there is nothing to suggest he will suddenly get it, even being in A & E. They can get noro from anywhere - school, softplay, transport. Being prepared is helpful as @Notashamed13 has said. My 5 were horrendously travel sick, and I still don't go anywhere without a "good quality no leaky supermarket plastic bag". Exposure can be helpful (all 5 got noro in one week once, and I was emptying the buckets like a pro by the end of it, but I would agree that the anticipation is worse than the event). I never sought any help for the phobia, and thinking back, I probably should have done. It's hard, but try and get some sleep, you waiting up just in case will just exhaust you, especially as nothing is likely to happen. But a BIG hug, I know how this feels xxx

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:43

Steelworks · 03/07/2025 02:36

Actually, the last thing you need is a hug if you’re worried about catching germs…! (Trying to lighten the mood),

Virtual hugs will do!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:45

TheM55 · 03/07/2025 02:37

Completely agree with this. It is a horrible phobia to have, and difficult to overcome. Unless he already has norovirus though, there is nothing to suggest he will suddenly get it, even being in A & E. They can get noro from anywhere - school, softplay, transport. Being prepared is helpful as @Notashamed13 has said. My 5 were horrendously travel sick, and I still don't go anywhere without a "good quality no leaky supermarket plastic bag". Exposure can be helpful (all 5 got noro in one week once, and I was emptying the buckets like a pro by the end of it, but I would agree that the anticipation is worse than the event). I never sought any help for the phobia, and thinking back, I probably should have done. It's hard, but try and get some sleep, you waiting up just in case will just exhaust you, especially as nothing is likely to happen. But a BIG hug, I know how this feels xxx

Show quote history

You speak so much sense.
the last bug we had, all 4 of us got it, but a week apart. It was very odd. I suspect my bleaching may have had something to do with that.
that is my absolute worst fear. All coming down with that the same time. I think I’d actually die

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:47

He keeps waking up and crying. Won’t tell me what’s wrong. Maybe his ear is hurting(why we were in A&E) or maybe tummy ache(please god no). Goes back to sleep with a bit of boob.
this is all very outing btw! Past caring now though

OP posts:
Steelworks · 03/07/2025 02:52

Virtual hug sent.