Boy showed private parts to Dd in the pool

[Coconutstopickupinthemorning]

Willy, penis..you get the gist.

Today I took my 6 year old to the swimming pool, she quickly made friends with a boy, looked maybe 8 ish, he seemed nice and they were playing lots in the pool. Lots of chasing games and on each other’s backs etc. Chatted to the mum a bit who was nice and when we left, he asked her to ask me if we could come at the same time tomorrow and I said maybe.
I was chatting to Dd in the car asking if she had fun etc, she said yes and liked the boy, but that he showed her his willy and she said ‘Eurgh!’ and that was that, she didn’t seem too bothered by it.
As I was driving back, I started thinking we won’t go back tomorrow because of him doing that, but that i’d make an excuse up to Dd,
I told Dh and he said boys do things like that and he’s only little and just messing about.
Dds best friend is a boy and I can’t see him ever doing something like that

Am I being over the top?

8 ish is too old for that behaviour. I don’t hold with any ‘boys will be boys’ nonsense either. You can explain to DD that boy was very rude and completely in the wrong, and praise her for telling you. However, I wouldn’t take her out of any swimming.. it’s the repeating pattern that girls/women remove themselves from male behavioural problems for their own safety, rather than the male being held accountable. This boy should be removed from swimming instead if he flashes his penis at little girls, and his mum should be made aware.

Could he have been adjusting his swim shorts rather brazenly not caring rather than deliberately showing her?

Where were you and his mum when this happened, OP? Kids that young I would expect parents to be watching at all times when in a pool.

Cut her some slack. It happened underwater, probably in less than 10 seconds.

DS must have been as tall as the average 8 year old when he was 5.

That said, even by 5 my children would have known not to do that.

It wouldn't be a friendship I was encouraging.

i would worry the boy is being sexually abused

I don’t know why but some boys do seem to have a bit of a compulsion to flash other kids. When my two were about 7 and 8 we were at a local attraction and they were playing outside with a boy we met there while I was talking to his gran when one of mine came to tell us this boy had pulled
down his pants to show his privates. Gran was mortified and marched him home. I told mine that was a very silly thing to do, privates are private etc.

The following year, when my eldest was 9, we went to a holiday park where there was evening entertainment in the complex and it opened out onto a decking area where lots of children congregated. My two were out there and then my youngest came to inform us that our eldest had gone out and pulled down his trousers and pants to show everyone his privates! Age 9! He did have slight learning difficulties and for whatever reason had thought this would be a funny thing to do in front of these kids he was probably trying to impress! We marched him back to the caravan and read him the riot act.

He’s 17 now and (as far as I know) has never
done anything like that again. So for him I don’t think it was a sign of anything nefarious going on in his life, just him being socially inept and doing things without thinking them through.

The two children who really concerned me with their behaviour were in a school I was working in, years ago. A girl and a boy in the nursery class. They were absolutely obsessed with showing each other their private parts. They could not be allowed near each other without supervision as they would immediately find a quiet corner to pull their pants down. That wasn’t a one off silly moment, it was repeated and obsessive. I always reported the incidents to the safeguarding lead but I’m not sure what happened in the end as I was only at the school for a short time. But those children’s behaviour absolutely worried me.

She was sat with a friend chatting, I was watching her the whole time, but lots of playing under the water

Thinking back, it was interesting how it was the first thing she told me in the car, hoping it hasn’t bothered her 😔