To worry about this kind of thing when out in public?

[nervousout]

I've always been quite an anxious person, but the last few months I seem to have developed a new source of anxiety, which is worrying about someone being upset with me in public. An example is a family got out of a lift and sort of lingered, I was waiting and went into the now empty lift, pressed my floor and off I went. I then started to worry that maybe the family was lingering as they were going to go back in the lift, and I had pushed my way in and they were annoyed at me/I had been rude. If someone is standing near a queue and I join the queue and then they stand behind me, I worry I've pushed in and they were already in the queue. I worry when I park my car, that if I'm not perfectly in the middle of the lines someone is going to photograph it and post it on Facebook to complain (I've seen this happen on my town's Facebook group). When I walk my dog I worry if she pulls the lead it looks like I'm pulling her back in a way that somehow looks cruel or aggressive (?), or if it is a cool summer's morning or evening but she is panting that I'm going to get shouted at or posted on Facebook for walking her when it's 'too hot'. When I'm food shopping with a trolley I'm constantly worried about being in people's way. If someone is waiting to look at something I'm also looking at I'll just walk away so they can look instead.

I've always been conscientious but I spend most of the time out in public worrying about this kind of thing. I don't know if it's gotten worse because I feel like the public's mood has shifted a lot since COVID. People seem to be a lot more hostile and short-tempered?

Sounds like your anxiety is spiralling and maybe intrusive thoughts too. You need to seek treatment before they get worse and you start changing your behaviour to try and avoid things that make you anxious.

I think it’s not about others it’s about you developing a problem, sounds like generalised anxiety disorder. (GAD)
Either you are going through a difficult period in life and it’s the result of it or it’s perimenopause. Probably both.

Posts which ask 'AIBU to feel.....' don't really make sense, because if that is the way you feel, then that is the way you feel. It isn't unreasonable that you have such anxiety, it is just a fact.

If you are asking if this is "normal" or "usual", then no, it isn't.

The easy thing for us to do is say "get some help for your anxiety" but I think we all know that is easier said than done.

I would say it’s time to seek some extra support for your anxiety if you aren’t already because most people don’t worry about this sort of thing regularly or to the exclusion of other thoughts and you don’t want it to get out of hand or start becoming life limiting.

What I will say is that people tend to notice you (by which I mean other strangers in general not you personally) much less than you think they do as they all have their own stuff going on and aren’t paying particular attention to you and what you’re doing. So try and keep that in mind when out and about. I often thought to myself when feeling similarly “would I be judging this person for what I’m doing or mind if that happened the other way around?” And if the answer is no (which it usually is) then I can rationalise it as a product of anxiety rather than any real impoliteness or social misstep on my part.