To ask if anybody has had an ex come back?

[Whereisthewinee]

Just that really, my ex got straight another relationship with a new woman after our long relationship ended. I don’t want him back but Is a bit unsettling to think I just meant nothing

Dont expect him to act with your values because he isnt you. Dont try to put rhyme or reason to his actions because he isnt you. You cant represent someone who isnt you, you cant think like him, act like him.

He got with someone else quickly because he got with someone else quickly. Dont demean yourself in your rationalising of that. It wasn't that "you meant nothing". It was because he cant be alone, obviously. Needs someone, probably pining for his mom ever since he left home, now he has a new mom, youre well clear...

bullet dodged

Thanks for that, it’s what I needed to hear

Focus on the fact that you don't want him back, surely. It's a bit mad to wish he would do something that you don't actually want, as some kind of token that your relationship meant something to him. It didn't work, or it stopped working for one or both of you, so no reason to wish things otherwise. His new relationship may go better, or it may be a total disaster because it's a rebound one. Not your issue, either way. Focus on you.

If I am Honest it has took me almost a year to get over the hurt he caused to me and the kids, I have never seen the guy fall flat on his face and it would make me so happy to tell him where to go.

Do you mean "come back" as in to resume the relationship with you?

When my first long relationship ended I was absolutely heartbroken and depressed, to the extent we got back together again and I really wish we hadn't - the reason we had broken up in the first place hadn't changed, and it just opened up all the wounds again and dragged out the heartbreak even longer. There's a reason it ended. Rebuild your self-esteem and focus on the future. It will get better.

Men always try to crawl back.

They don’t always crawl back. But in some cases that’s a blessing. And shows how little you ever meant to them.
Your relationship ended for a reason. And for that same reason you shouldn’t allow them any more headspace. Focus on yourself.

No they don’t?

You don’t want him back but you want him to want to come back? Sounds like a toxic mindset.
Your relationship ended for a reason and he has moved on so it’s irrelevant what you meant to him now.
Focus on yourself, what makes you happy, what you want out of life etc. and don’t give him any headspace.

Nearly every one of them. They all got told to fuck off.

Come back and read it again. And again, and wverytime you need it. Recite it like a prayer every morning

And come back and read it again when you're low, and thinking the grass was greener, because it wasn't.

Yabu. You don't want him back but you don't want him with anyone else either and you want him to come back so what? You can reject him? It's crappy that he got straight into a relationship after the break up but focus on the reasons you are broke up and realise your worth isn't linked into how anyone else feels about you.

Mine keeps trying to crawl back. He's a nasty, unemployed loser who is about as interesting as a sea cucumber. I'm so fed up with him. I would find another woman to marry the sod, but I couldn't do that to another human being.

Every one of them, I think. Two of them were in new relationships already and still tried to come back.

Reported that Nelly one.
Anyway. Yes. I had two long term relationships and both of them later married and had children then out of the blue messaged me years later with flirtatious messages obviously looking for an affair. Their poor wives.
If he’s the father of your children it’s a bit more complicated but yes, men do often move on very quickly. They’re just not as picky as us! I felt sorry for my ex DH’s latest woman. I left after his many affairs over the years and stay friends for our DC.
He has become very disabled and difficult and she’s left him now and he would love to have his family back. No thanks.