To ask what your 7 year old does when left to play on their own?

[Tiredandill]

My 7 year old DS often complains he has nothing to do. I appreciate this happens and it’s ok for kids to be bored. But with the summer holidays coming up I’m just checking I’m not missing anything.

He does after school clubs like Beavers and cricket, which will stop during the holidays. He doesn’t like football and won’t spend time kicking a ball around, nor does he like riding a bike. He likes Minecraft and Pokémon. But we try and limit the time on his tablet. He has access to drawing materials and Lego whenever he chooses. He doesn’t choose to pick up a book to read. He’ll have friends over during the holidays, we’ll have some days out. He has other toys - probably too many!

Am I missing anything or should I just let him be bored sometimes??

This all sounds normal to me. You could try the summer reading challenge at your local library? It's designed to encourage reluctant readers. If he likes cricket, my local cricket club runs summer cricket camps for primary age kids that he might enjoy if you can spare the money. Junior parkrun on a Sunday morning? But yes, it's also fine for him to be bored sometimes!

Sounds like he has a lot he can do to be honest, sometimes children just say they're bored because they want someone to entertain them, my daughter does it which is hard because I've got 4 children and the youngest is still a baby so unfortunately have to let her be bored sometimes, she eventually finds something to do

I have the same issue with my DS. And he is destructive and tantrumy when bored so it’s tricky.

I have found it helpful to sometimes proactively get out things that are generally stored in the cupboard and set them up every so often and sometimes they pique his interest. This seems to work if say the magnetic tiles or the marble race stuff haven’t been out for awhile.

Also - sometimes I set a timer for say 10 mins and tell him he has to entertain himself for that time. The key is to start with a short amount of time. Doesn’t always work, but sometimes it does.

the only thing that really keeps interest though are his friends or a screen!

Have also had some success with printing out word searches or colouring in pages from free sites on topics he enjoys and leaving them on the table with colouring pencils. Could try with Minecraft or Pokémon?

Lego, colouring, small world play with mini figures, may join her younger brother playing hot wheels. Bored doesn’t always mean there’s nothing to do- it’s more often than not kid code for entertain me or can I watch TV.

When I was little and said I was bored my mum used to say oh good, you can tidy your draws out. Or great, you can tidy up the toy boxes. I always found something else to do.

7 year old DC here will do these things on his own. Sometimes I do them with him or just start him off then he’s engrossed:
Hamabeads
Air drying clay modelling
Fimo
Writing in notebooks with various coloured pens, gel pens etc
Watering plants in garden with mini watering can he can refill himself, spraying water spray around garden

Some days I pull out specific toys (the wooden building blocks/the magnatiles/lego) and ask them to build something. That works well.

We do the same with the recycling sometimes. They each get a box full of bits and they have to make the same "thing". It's interesting to see what they come up with.

The Scouting website has a 60 days of Summer list. Some of which are definitely doable by a 7 year old on their own.

How long does he complain for before he either finds something appropriate to do or starts being naughty for attention? How does he react to being given genuinely useful jobs to do?

I find it's good to let them be bored and not give in to screen time demands (not too much anyway) but some children become destructive left to their own devices. Seems especially so without siblings, DS1 was terrible for it. DS2 is ten years younger (nearly 7 now) but has DS3 to play with. He will often find something to play with DS3, but if there's too much unstructured time he goes into the attention seeking mode and we start bickering at each other.

If you have too many toys it can be hard for them to see what they have. Having a clear out or even just a sort out putting things into themed tubs etc and weeding out the broken, lost, outgrown things helps. Anything that consists of dozens of small parts that doesn't work when enough of them are missing I find it helps to keep in a self contained kind of container, like board games are, and have a designated pot for lost or stray parts, so when you find one in the wild you don't have to look for the right box. You can get him to do this with you under the guise of rearranging his bedroom or making space for (specific wanted toy) or making space for a sleepover or to repaint a wall or something.

Also looking for new ideas for how to use your existing stuff is good. Rebrickable is the best website for Lego, if you have a computer he can use I'd get him sitting with that and looking for new things to build. He can put in what sets he already has, and it will tell you what bricks you have and suggest things to build with them. Or get one of those big books of activity ideas, or the dangerous book for boys, simple science experiments to do at home, anything like that. The library will probably have some (they also have things like drawing guides, Lego ideas, teach yourself XYZ) if you don't want to spend money.

If this is not enough, the best thing I've found is to get them started. Spend a couple of days literally just sitting and playing with them following whatever random idea one of you has and when you get bored, tell them ok five more minutes then I'm going to do the washing/lunch/have a cup of tea and a sit down. If I dedicate a couple of days to it I don't feel as frustrated at not having time to do other things.

The more you do this the more they get used to doing their own activities, and I find if I spend a bit of time playing with DS he will then continue the same kind of activity without me, much more so than he would have done if I'd never done it at all. I used to avoid this with DS1 because I felt like if I played with him a bit it was all he wanted to do but I've got into a better rhythm now with DS2 where I play a bit, then do my own thing for a bit, then I might come and look and admire what he's doing, then he'll get bored and do something else.

You might want to also try a bit of bribery. Get him to come up with or choose from a set of ideas of something to learn and if he reaches certain goals he can have some money to spend or a trip out to a specific place etc. Kind of like the library reading scheme but make up your own goals together. Good if he has input into it rather than it just being you leading this, but you'll probably have to be the structure for it.

Same.

Oh youre bored? Great, you can help me do the chores or you can entertain yourself. Would you like me to give you a job?

9/ 10 he'll find something to do.

1/ 10 he'll willingly help me mop the floor.

Make sure they dont get a screen every time theyre bored. They need to know how to entertain themselves.

Beano subscription is a life saver for us. It's one of the only things our 7 year old sits still for and it's still enjoyed by the 12 year old too! Otherwise Lego and train track are still big hits but he does like someone to play with him. I can usually give 10/20 mins playing time then tell him I'm going to do something else. He also joins in chores some of the time when offered, especially to avoid bedtime.

My DS will build huge dens in his room, play with lego, raid the recycling box for stuff to turn into a costume, build elaborate race tracks for cars, do activity books, that sort of thing. The other day I found him playing with play doh which kept him entertained for good hour. Or sometimes he'll read a magazine or book (although he reads more in the evenings). He will say he's bored but I'll tell him to find something to do and he always manages. He's an only child so no siblings to play with.

He does also love gaming and could easily spend hours on Minecraft if we let him.

Oh and I use the app Tody for myself for jobs around the house. It has a little cartoon dust monster who will sometimes give you challenges. DS quite likes looking on the app to see if we're winning in the war against Dusty or whether he's in the lead and that motivates him to help with some cleaning jobs if he's in the mood. Silly things like that are quite good I find. You might try something like Finch or Habitica if he likes video games. Obviously it's not ideal because it's on yet another screen but I do think it can be helpful to show them that screens can be a useful tool and not just a source of passive entertainment.

My DS is also 7. He tells me he has bored and nothing to do in order to get more screen time. It doesn't work!

90% of the time he will find something to do. Playing outside (he likes football), drawing, reading, lego, hot wheels.
Sometimes he wants a den building then will occupy himself for hours in it.

Structure is key. My DH is in charge of most holiday time childcare as he is a teacher, and most days he has a structure so it isn't just an expanse of time.
The kids have to do something helpful for an hour each day (washing the car, helping in the garden, something round the house), half an hour of quiet time reading, hour of play time together, and out of the house every day. It really works. We are screen free apart from weekly film night.

I often tell my seven year olds to pretend it's five minutes before bedtime and to go and look in their rooms for the thing they would want to play with then (we have a big issue with playing instead of getting ready for bed, not sure if that one's universal). I don't know whether they actually do it, but they do leave and don't come back.
Sometimes I say then they can probably pack some of their toys up for selling. Occasionally they do bring something and clean it and set it up on the table for me to take photos of and sell (so also a win), but 9 times out of 10 they start playing with something.
They just need to see things from a different perspective to get drawn into the game.

Thank you, there’s some really helpful suggestions here, I’ll try and put some into practice. I think it’s the eternal Mum guilt of always feeling like you’re not doing enough, so I was wondering if I should do more to alleviate his boredom.

Boredom is really healthy! Just accompany it kindly, but don’t solve the problem.