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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To change my mind when he asked for payment in cash?

140 replies

Wardrobefred · 01/07/2025 23:51

I wanted some work done in my garden. I know I should get 3 quotes, but I just wanted it done. Price was £1200 and he could start the following week so I accepted it.

Then he asked for a deposit to "secure the date" which seemed a bit much when he clearly wasn't turning down other work! I was going to agree, just to get the job done, it was £50 by bank tf. Then he said he'd want the rest in cash on the day of completion "so he could pay the men". TBH it never occurred to me anyone would want that much in cash and it certainly wasn't mentioned when we were discussing price.

I said I'm not comfortable getting out £1200 in cash, which I'm not. It's a faff because you have to go to the bank and then walk across town carrying it. So he said pay half in cash, which still presents the same issues. By this time I was thinking my quick decision to give him the work was a bit rash, so I said I'd decided to take more time to think about it.

I'm now on the local FB page as a timewaster...

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 04/07/2025 01:40

PractisingMyTelekenipsis · 04/07/2025 01:13

Yes, but there is a free voter ID. You can't use it as proof for anything else though. Which is bonkers.

Everything the government comes up with is bonkers to us but they have an agenda.

HarkerandBarker · 04/07/2025 01:42

simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 01:37

Source?

Red or brown?

MyLov · 04/07/2025 02:59

Genevieva · 02/07/2025 10:35

Cash is legal tender and doesn’t involve transfer fees. Paying labourers on the day in cash is perfectly normal. You can go to a hole-in-the-wall, get out a few hundred quid at a time. It’s two or three visits. Really not that inconvenient. Otherwise offer pay him half the total amount in advance so he can get the cash out beforehand.

Two or three visits to a cash machine is massively inconvenient!!!

simsbustinoutmimi · 04/07/2025 03:26

HarkerandBarker · 04/07/2025 01:42

Red or brown?

Yeah, I knew you didn’t have one because it’s not true 🙄

Lollipopsicle · 04/07/2025 05:04

HoskinsChoice · 02/07/2025 07:31

Is him dodging tax just his affair though? When you complain about schools not being good enough or the NHS not being good enough or pot holes in the road or kids living in poverty or your bins not being collected or older people not being cared for or normal people having to care for the vulnerable because there's nobody else to do it or kids being murdered because social services didn't have enough resources to notice is it still OK for us all to stand by and watch people not pay tax? When he screws over the government by not paying tax, he is screwing you too. Your services are screwed because he doesn't pay tax. And whilst he's screwing you over, he's living his best life because he can afford to. You really think it's just his affair and not yours too?

Totally agree.

TunnocksOrDeath · 04/07/2025 07:08

DonnaBanana · 03/07/2025 19:23

My local Chinese takeaway insists on cash but will take card begrudgingly. Are they dodging tax?

Different payment methods, and different business sectors.
A business that takes card payments gets charged by the bank to facilitate the transaction, for a business like a takeaway, which does multiple small value payments this adds up, so it makes sense to request cash.
In this case it would be the OP doing a direct transfer, and I've never heard of banks charging to receive a direct transfer of funds into your account. They usually charge the person making the payment, and even then only if it's a CHAPS or something, which isn't necessary for this amount.
There's no reason for a legitimate business doing small-volumes of high-value work for known clients to refuse to accept bank transfers.

countrygirl99 · 04/07/2025 08:40

People always talk as if handling cash is cost free it isn't. As a minimum insurance costs are higher. Even if everything goes through the books and staff are paid legitimately in cash some will need to be banked and that will incur fees. Counting cash and reconciling the till, banking all required time which costs. Property/staff security will also need to be tighter which also costs. But as these costs are diffuse over a number of headings they tend to be underestimated when considering the business options.

Anfieldgirl · 04/07/2025 09:00

LionAndEmperor13 · 04/07/2025 00:01

"You're very naive if you think everyone has a passport and/or driving license."

Hi - well then I may be very naive.. How can someone not have a passport? Or any other form of photo ID?

The driving license was just an example - for a bank account, you need a form of photo ID such as a passport) and a proof of your address (it could be driving license, utility bill, various other forms of proof of address).
But passport? Surely everyone has a passport.... am I wrong in thinking this?
Doesn't everyone just have a passport as standard? Happy to be proven wrong but it does seem like the norm.
I have all my family's passports and other documents scanned, so I can send them to whichever authority needs them.
(I know that, for example in Italy a lot of people didn't used to have passports, just Identity Cards, but I think that's changed now)

This was originally about a woman in an abusive relationship wasn't it? It is very likely that she wouldn't have ID or proof of address as her abusive partner controlled her in that way.

I don't think you need to keep arguing your point when it is so clear you have no idea that there are so many reasons some people don't have ID or bank accounts.

That being said obviously the tradesperson in the OP is avoiding tax!

WearyAuldWumman · 04/07/2025 10:34

LionAndEmperor13 · 04/07/2025 01:03

Well, these are things that people generally have in the course of their usual lives... a form of ID... a form of proof of address. It's fairly standard stuff. Hardly luxury living! Wouldn't you say?

Many elderly people no longer have a driving licence or passport. I found that to be a problem when I was advocating for my parents. (They had never held a driving licence and their passports had long since expired since they were not fit to travel.)

Most older people round my way have bus passes with their picture, but the banks won't accept those either.

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 04/07/2025 10:39

ExercicenformedeZ · 02/07/2025 10:24

No it isn't. There is no reason to ask for cash unless for tax dodging purposes. OP, you did nothing wrong and I would report him to the FB group admins (and also possibly tip off HMRC)

My parents window cleaner gets paid in cash. In fact I think most window cleaners get paid in cash.

Elleherd · 04/07/2025 10:42

Most clients here will be getting 30 days credit and paying their invoice via bank. But, I absolutely will ask for hard cash if I think a customer is dodgy in any way, or is a business sub contracting me who's about to go under, (3/4's of part of my industry is going down, big and small, one by one) or if they insist they want to pay me in cash in the first place.
But they still get handed an invoice with the date to be paid in cash by, - or on the day, stamped 'paid' instead of the usual 30 days credit terms, and they are given a numbered cash receipt.

The only thing being hidden here through the use of cash as a payment method, is what I really think about the character or financial stability of some of the people I need to accept work from, including some of the well to do.

They still get invoices and receipts and it all goes through the books.

SusanChurchouse · 04/07/2025 11:28

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 04/07/2025 10:39

My parents window cleaner gets paid in cash. In fact I think most window cleaners get paid in cash.

I pay my window cleaner by bank transfer. In fact, I think I pay all the trades I use that way: painter and decorator, plumber etc.

maartjebaabes · 05/07/2025 11:46

LionAndEmperor13 · 03/07/2025 15:11

Santander don't do credit checks for a basic account.
Of course they need basic identification, that's pretty obvious.
And yeah actually I did say you were 'likely' lied to, which I think is true.
The reason she wanted cash was either a) to avoid taxes, or b) because she was also claiming benefits.

Wake up.

I've also repeatedly said that the money issue is entirely separate from the abuse issue, but you keep insisting on using the word 'victim' to try to paint me as the bad guy here.

And I'm not wrong about the £1000. Anything over that has to be declared. Look it up.

"And I'm not wrong about the £1000. Anything over that has to be declared. Look it up."

Where does TMA say that?

OurMavis · 05/07/2025 11:56

HoskinsChoice · 02/07/2025 07:31

Is him dodging tax just his affair though? When you complain about schools not being good enough or the NHS not being good enough or pot holes in the road or kids living in poverty or your bins not being collected or older people not being cared for or normal people having to care for the vulnerable because there's nobody else to do it or kids being murdered because social services didn't have enough resources to notice is it still OK for us all to stand by and watch people not pay tax? When he screws over the government by not paying tax, he is screwing you too. Your services are screwed because he doesn't pay tax. And whilst he's screwing you over, he's living his best life because he can afford to. You really think it's just his affair and not yours too?

Asking for cash is absolutely a tax avoidance method, it's not a myth. I won't assist or condone tax dodging because I see it as theft. Theft from all of us.
So if a tradesman asks for cash or a cafe or bar is cash only I walk away. Even my hairdresser who works from home and my window cleaner takes digital payment.

You were right to walk away OP and it's not easy because his type can be intimidating.

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 05/07/2025 12:47

the fact that he's chosen to go on FB to bad-mouth the OP is enough reason to walk away - what a red flag!

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