Colleague undermining? Oversensitive or needs addressing more

[BorderlandsBrass]

Last week I was on a joint work case with a colleague (both psychologists, they are more senior, 5 or so years more experience, plus I am new to the team) and I felt they undermined me by telling me to stop taking notes and that my seating position was wrong in the room. This was all very awkward, and in front of a child and parent.
I am not new to the team, we both started around 2 years ago, and I’ve gelled well, get on well with my colleagues and most people in various other teams. Never had any issues like this in work before. Context, I’m ND, very social, warm and personable in general. My colleague is also ND but there have already been a couple of complaints about them from colleagues and families alike. I’ve heard about them but have ignored as it’s not my business and don’t like to get involved.

I’ve been processing it this whole week, and deciding whether to report. I don’t want to be dramatic, don’t want to demonise a fellow ND colleague who may have had their own personal issues going on, and also want to be able to repair this incident which may be hard if I report. However I don’t want to leave myself vulnerable.

What are your thoughts Mumsnet?

So you’ve work D with this colleague for 2 years…. You haven’t taken notes in front of them before during a consult?

what did the other person say?

Report????

good grief Op… no!!

Why wouldn’t you have a chat with the colleague first? Or have you spoken with them already and they weren’t receptive?

I would speak to your colleague and explain that you felt it was awkward that they spoke to you about the note taking and seating position in front of a patient and parents. Ask them why they felt where you sat and that you were taking notes was a problem. I would try and resolve it in this way rather than going straight to reporting a colleague. They may have had good reasons for their intervention.

@Teanow nope, we don’t usually joint work cases, this is a particularly complex one! So I’ve never actually taken notes in front of them. If I’ve ever done joint sessions it’s usually with colleagues from other teams and generally one does notes the other speaks/leads

Sorry all I’ve just seen a confusing typo, I meant to say I am NOT new to the team.

@Endofyear @HundredMilesAnHourI spoke to them afterwards, and we discussed the impact on dynamics as unfortunately it may lead to some difficult relational issues to address now. They apologised as they agreed they’d undermined. But said that this was due to having had a bad day and wasn’t how they’d usually handle that. Usually we’d prep in advance but they forgot about our prep meeting(missed it) and no time to schedule another. In hindsight, I wonder if something is going on for them, probably will just leave it at that

There will be more to this

and I suspect if you “report” Op, this will backfire badly on you

And you didn’t think this was relevant to include in the Op?

so is it going to be an issue going forward?
Can you ask that they have someone else in the 2nd seat as they have already undermined you and you don't think it's beneficial for anyone to have you there again?

Did you make it clear that you expect them to do their prep and you don't want this situation arising again should you ever have to work together again?

You need to address your issues to them in the first instance, and only escalate if the result is unsatisfactory.

Exactly. This is all stuff to get out of the way in the skipped prep meeting.

@Richdrinkyes there is more, there’s loads of whisperings and general office dramas regarding this colleague but I try my best not to get involved or listen. Like I said, I’ve never joint worked with them up until now and like to give everyone a fair chance, however this may have backfired. Didn’t know how much to include on the initial post, could put loads but it’d be huge! And possibly outing.

@BrefugeeYes it may well be an issue going forwards. Without going into tons of detail it may have influenced the therapeutic dynamics with the clients as they saw the whole interaction. It’s hard to know whether to make a deal of this and request a new person to do the work or whether that will be an even bigger issue!

@NotoriousRhubarb100% agree, which is why I’d scheduled it. But it was complete the client session or postpone on extremely short notice and I deferred to them in their seniority. A lesson for me perhaps to stand my ground in my own clinical judgement.