To have been a bit put out by this? Comment about diets / weight

[yesiamfat]

I may well be being unreasonable here and fair enough if so. Tell me gently though!

I recently returned from maternity leave along with another colleague and both of us have decided to stick to the same diet to lose baby weight. In our absence a new colleague has started.

Today she beckoned me into a room and said ‘look at me, do I look fat?’ I was like ‘uh - no.’ She proceeded to tell me about the eating plan she used and how effective it is.

To be honest it made me feel quite uncomfortable. I know I might be over sensitive but it felt way too personal a conversation to have with someone I don’t know!

Im confused.

So this is the new colleague that was talking to you about her eating plan?

Yes I would think that very rude to start talking about dieting, unasked, with someone you dont know.

Especially given she must know you've recently given birth and might be sensitive about your weight.

Quite strange behaviour.

@Ivereallyhadenough that was sort of how I took it to be honest. I just thought it was a very personal topic, especially given she was boasting about her amazing figure and making me answer questions about her!

Dunno why you have made it about you.

did she just bring it up randomly out of the blue, or are you and other colleague openly discussing your diet plan? If first, weird and inappropriate. If second, I can understand why she thought you'd like to hear about her success. I mean I have a colleague who tells everyone in about 20 people open office about her latest botox appointment, I would be surprised if she made an issue of people mentioning it.

Because it was about me? She was telling me I should do ‘her’ diet!

@G5000 we had been chatting about it earlier but not in that moment and plus I hadn’t actually asked her for diet advice - it was a bit embarrassing!

Oh so is she selling a diet drink/meal replacement?

What was her eating plan ? seems like she was full of herself and her diet achievements and unaware of you and your feelings , or maybe she was trying to market a diet product to you

No @susiedaisy1912 just a way of eating. I’m sure it’s good, but I didn’t like the way she ‘sold’ it to me and anyway it wouldn’t suit me at this point.

To be fair, @yesiamfatyour initial OP was confusing. It sounded as though she was sharing her insecurities about her own weight with you and asking you for your opinion on her diet etc. Your updated post suddenly makes sense. When she said ‘Do I look fat?’, you mean she was basically telling you that you should follow her eating plan if you wanted a wonderful figure like hers? Like she was doing you a favour? Is that right? The first post came across very differently and I think PP read it the same way I did.

God I hate when people do this. Are you supposed to say yes????

edit: read the rest of the post, you are reading into this too much

And yes, very insensitive of her in that case. Massively overstepping.

I would have felt the same as you

Thankfully I didn't vote before reading the thread. Your opening post is unclear, but the subsequent posts are better.

Now that I've read the thread, YANBU. Your new colleague is a CF.

So she beckoned me into a room and said ‘look at me!’ I was very confused and she said ‘would you say I have a nice figure?’ I said very tentatively that yes she did and then she said ‘well, I look like this because I have <eating plan> for years. And look at me; it works, doesn’t it?’ She then said something like ‘I’ll give you and <colleague> all the details.’

Yes, I get it now and you are right, she was a dick. I would have felt offended, uncomfortable and quite pissed off with her! Not only did she overstep but I’m also cringing for her in making you tell her she had a great figure.

She’s DEFO selling something/ going to try selling something to you. You’re probably not the first person she’s approached like this. She probably only feels safe asking you know because the product isn’t pregnancy safe and you’re no longer pregnant

Now*

but yeah forgone conclusion it’s some multi level marketing scheme. Ignore ignore ignore.

She isn’t honestly @simsbustinoutmimi . I might as well say, it was just intermittent fasting.

I would bank on there being something she will plan to sell to you down the line

I don't think she wants to sell something. Sounds like she had good results with certain diet plan, OP and friend were discussing theirs, so she tried to be helpful. Not in the best way, needs to work on her boundaries, but not necessarily a MLM rep.

She sounds awful.

I'd honestly try and avoid weight/ diet talk at work even in a supportive way. It can be a hard topic for some people. I hate it when people bang on about it in the staffroom!

I don’t think she was there when op and her friend discussed diets

She was; if only came up as people asked what our lunch was though.