Can someone be in love with 2 people at once? AIBU to think so?

[Lilcrazyop]

Hey there.

i came across a recent post about someone being in love with two men. I have heard that this can happen. I do think while yes it is possible even though it’s wrong but I also think that someone can love one person because of one thing e.g. stability and the other for another thing e.g. fun or escape from stress. I do think that one person will eventually be the main love in that persons life.

what do you think? Any experiences you’d like to share too?

I don’t see why not. People can love more than one child, more than one parent, more than one sibling. It’s just societal convention that we’re not supposed to love or have sex with more than one partner at a time.

Yes 100% the older I get and see relationships etc i genuinely starting to believe that people aren’t meant to be with one person forever or at least just one person. To me now I see it more of a societal norm rather than in our nature, at the end of the day we are animals that are designed to reproduce. Think how many people split up, get divorced, fall out of love with each other etc. In your post you said it’s wrong…why do you think it’s wrong? Honestly my next relationship I think I could strongly consider being open to poly or opening it up because different people give you different things.

Yes. Love is your True nature.

Can you share the original post you reference?

i think its called having your cake and eating it.

No if your truly loved someone you wouldn't be able to treat them like that

I hope that your upcoming affair is both rewarding and as pain-free as possible for your S/O. Let us know how you get on.

I think your post lacks context. It really depends on the starting point. Is it possible yes sure. But how do you get there? I wouldn’t be able to get there because I married someone and we have a closed relationship. Therefore I can’t open my heart and have deep and private conversations with another man without feeling I would be betraying my partner. And without that I wouldn’t be able to fall in love. Fall in lust and fall in love are different things. If you start from open relationship where you are able to connect with others then I’m sure it’s possible. Some people might think that our nature is not monogamous. And that can be true but I also don’t think that’s universal. I can’t think of anything worse than engaging with someone else other than my husband. I’m happy the way we are - it’s not perfect but no relationship is open or otherwise.

You can be in love with 2 people at once, and it's not necessarily wrong if you are single

But I think when your in a long term relationship with someone you develop a closeness that it wouldn't be possible to have with 2 people at once. Ultimately you would prefer one. And in order to actively get to a point of love, rather than lust or limerance it would involve a fair amount cheating, which again if your truelly loved your partner you wouldn't be prepared to do

I think you can love a person and then become infatuated with another. I am not sure about deeply loving too partners at the same time. I think that comes with years of trust, shared experience, knowing that person is someone who will always be there for you. I suppose their is the possibility that a new infatuation could develop into that kind of love in time but to feel that kind of love with two people at once I think would be unusual and difficult.

So I think it is possible to have feelings for two people at the same time but much harder to deeply love two people (in the sense of a romantic partner) at the same time.

I think yes if you're openly and distinctly in a polyamorous relationship (but people on MN don't seem to like polyamory!).

I think no if you are in a conventional relationship set up whereby one party is being deceived or betrayed. I think in those situations the only person you love is yourself.

At university I had an affair with a married mature student who frequently told me 'I love you' but also still loved DP and would not break up the marriage. I didn't and don't know how much credence to give either statement but they could both have been true. (As for me I just enjoyed the sex and some fairly amusing company.)