Hello there. I’ve known this woman who is my friend for almost 2 decades. She a bit older than me but we’ve always been close. She’s had a hard life which I feel bad for that’s left her with a lot of issues. I thought she had settled down but this past year after a bout of pnd she has spiralled again. Things had become strained between her and her husband due to her pnd and families getting involved. During that time nasty things were said to her that she can’t get out of her head. If you’re wondering why I know all this it’s because she’s told me. She told me not that long ago things had settled down and I did think she looked generally happy. So this other man who’s a good friend of hers (I also know him through her) has been getting close to her. Last month she admitted to me that he was supporting her through her trauma and that they contact each other everyday even though they don’t meet that often or so I’ve been told. Last weekend we went out for some drinks and a dance as a group like we do now and again. She was there with some of our other friends including this other man. Her husband was looking after the kids. My friend has had a bad knock back last week so hasn’t been in the best place. She was all over the other man like a rash and was knocking back the drinks. This other man is a player through and through. He’s known for playing the field with the women and yes he deserves fun because she’s a single man. Eventually she got that drunk she tried to kiss him in front of us but he pushed her away in a nice way. There was some concerning moments during that night. They looked cosy at times like they had been together. I’m trying to work out whether it’s a one sided obsession on her part or there is a genuine full blown affair going on between the pair of them. They were holding hands and dancing like they were together. Gazing at each other also. I would say more on her part as I could tell that he was trying not to look too involved. They both got drunk. One drunk girl at a bar whom my friend got jealous over her because she felt that that girl was skinnier and prettier than her, spillled my friends drink over her by accident then kissed the other man in front of my friend. My friend was devastated. Another man started chatting her up and tried to kiss her and she let me feel her in front of her guyfriend to make him jealous because she felt they’d both made a fool of her and that he didn’t bother checking if she was ok after having a drink spilled over her and kissed the other girl. Again my friend told me this when she walked back from the bar as I watched it happen. She came back to the table we were sitting at while her guyfriend was still with the other woman. My friend started hysterical screaming and threatened to beat that woman up and rip her hair out (and other disgusting stuff which I’ll not post here) for taking him from her when she was going through a hard time and she needed him. I took her to the girls room to calm down that’s when she burst into tears and told me that she’s in love with two men and doesn’t know what to do.
she needs help. I’m honestly at a loss of what to do. I told her she can’t continue this affair/obsession with him as she’s married and he unlikely feels they’d both made same. She’s adamant she won’t give him up and says she’s going to lose weight and try to look like that girl to get his attention and be good enough for him like that girl is. She’s digging a massive hole for herself
AIBU to be concerned and considering telling her husband?