or is XP? or are we both being stupid.

[charliecat]

We split up a year ago.
About 6 months ago we decided to set the times he saw the kids(because he was ringing 30 mins before he was turning up at the door leaving me no time to arrange anything for myself to do with no routine for the kids at all)
So he has every 2nd weekend, at my house, and a couple of hours every tues/thurs.
He has cancelled his weekend 2/3 or maybe 4 times. Because he has something better to do.
Including this one. He has gone to see his mum in Scotland.
I text him last week to say I wouldnt be back on Tues in time for him to see the kids.
He has been shouting down the phone at me trying to make me feel bad.
I said sorry its half term, you cant expect me to not go out because you see the kids that night. And its not possible for me to get there and back in time to back for half six and it couldnt be done on another day either.
He wants me to swop my weekend to suit him...
Ive said NO stop arranging things on your weekend....yet ...erm, ive arranged something that means he cant see them tues
But to me, that means neither or us should be shouting. He should have had this weekend, and I should have thought before making plans...two wrongs...no need for agro?
He's still mad at me.
Who is BU?

Message withdrawn

You both need to grow up, I think.

Message withdrawn

ok so it is us both, but if he continues to not do his weekend. am i being THAT unreasonable in not being around on some tues/thurs?
Seeing that if he can find other things to do on his weekends, im not going to break my neck to make sure im here tues/thurs.

I think the kids come first. I'm sure you are a fantastic motherm, and am in no way suggesting you don't put them first.

I just think if you have to accommodate him for their sick then that is what you have to do. It's not fair at all, but the alternative will make things worse for your DC.

for their sake

Yes, you would be. Why should your kids miss out because you both can't be adult about access?

I do accomodate him, hes not here. This is his weekend.
I have no choice, if he doesnt turn up he doesnt turn up. If he cancels he cancels. I dont have that choice. To be available or not.
I just AM.
But I just think he shouldnt be shouting at me.
I could take it on the chin...if it wasnt for the fact that..er hes not here and he should be. And so me not being here tues isnt a big deal. I didnt shout at him for not showing.

Message withdrawn

It is rubbish. If he had never let me down I would be precious about the tues/thurs thing.
Same way I am precious about MY weekend with the girls, I dont plan things on those weekends and ask him to have them.

Message withdrawn

Used to have? Have you got it sorted now?

Message withdrawn

Hmmmm, sad that its got to that point before he sees whats actually important really but good that hes seeing dd regularly.
Sigh, again

Message withdrawn

Oh really God thats sad

Message withdrawn

Fantastic distraction technique from your x

He knows he has them every 2nd weekend.
He books things, on the weekend he is MEANT to have them, and kindly informs me Expects me to say oh thats fine, you have MY weekend then
I leave him my house and go to harmans, if we swop weekends it means we are both in my house with the kids and it simply we argue, its NOT PLEASANT for any of us.
Best not done.
Rant rant rant rant...

Message withdrawn

About 20 mins away. He has a landlady with cancer. My kids germs will kill her, but his GFs wont Apparently.

Message withdrawn

Yes originally, he said, my landlady says I can have the kids anytime I want. I thought oh how nice is that, they could be little turds....and then it changed to ...oh she cant catch their germs...but she does internet dating...er GERMY! and his GF has stayed there. And the kids have been in the house...and shes made them lunch....so ...er hes at it. But how can I argue???

Message withdrawn