Just over 90 days ago we finished in court after 10 months discussing the child arrangements order. I was given a lives with order, dad was given 3 out of 14nights. Lots of issues in the last 3 months. He has taken nothing that cafcass or the judge said on board (that our communication prevents shared care, he doesn't follow medical advice, that he is verbally abusive to me, the list goes on).
In the 90 days dad has asked at least 8 times for more contact. I have said I am sticking to the court order, after around the 5th time I said if he continued I would consider it harassment. He then went on to say he wanted to take them on holiday, then that he has a family wedding to take them too... so around every 11/12 days he has asked for more time and spoken to our 6 and 3 year old about it despite the court telling him not to.
Now I have received a message saying that he wants to go to mediation as he wants me to agree to shared care 50/50 (week on, week off) wjth me as the primary carer and leading on all of the medical side (our kids have lots of appts). He then wants to apply to court to get that changed. He originally wanted a lives with order or 50/50, with CMS being a big factor. He is still trying to buy me out of my 50% of the house and CMS is a big chunk of his wages.
He was and is abusive to me. He has learnt nothing about what was raised in the court findings. I am concerned for the kids emotionally (court said he doesn't always deal with the kid's emotional needs as he badmouths me and tells then adult issues. The judge in her speech also said that she would not agree to dad having longer periods of time with the children due to this.)
The court had no issue with the way I parented despite horrendous allegations being raised and dad saying i was completely unable to look after the children.
Has any one gone back to court so soon and the judge has changed the court order?
At what point does being asked the same question about more contact constitute harassment? I was previously told I could possibly get a NMO, however I want/need him to attend medical appts to support the kid's... not that he does, but occasionally the odd one he will pop up at.
Any advice?
AIBU: Attend mediation and give him some more time to prevent going to court again (difficult to even write that!).
YANBU: Stick to my guns, no mediation, let him take me back to court as it is too soon and not enough time to implement positive changes with the kids as the focus.