Primary aged girls

[LivelyCrab]

Another birthday party filled with minor failings out , drama and arguments. I just don’t get it. Are all primary aged girls (year 4) like this?

There’s just non stop low level cattiness, and issues. It’s totally exhausting to host and really saps the enjoyment out of it. It seems to be the same on play dates too, apart from if it’s one on one which generally makes it calmer.

It’s always the same kids of course, but it really dominates the culture of the class.

We’ve just finished year 5 and I would say year 4 and year 5 have been dominated by dramas among the girls. DD hates conflict and doesn’t seem to have been part of the arguments herself but gets dragged in as a support … which then annoys the other person…

🙄🙄🙄🙄. Hoping they grow up in y6.

Parties have generally been fine though as have one to one playdates as you say. It’s the groups of 3/4/5/6 which cause issues.

My daughter is the same, she’s no angel but she does seem to find the drama, showy-offness and general intensity too much. I’ve seen her walk away when friends of hers are arguing.

It’s really hard because I want her to have great female friendships modelled. But there just seems constant drama. I don’t know how they all cope with it, it’s totally energy sapping.

I haven't detected any in DD's class yet (year 4) but we tend to do 1-1s. A few minor disagreements here and there e.g. at parties but nothing which has spoiled things.

I’m hoping this is basically the teenage years come early and it’ll all be lovely by age 11/12 🙏

Yes!! My daughter is year 4 and it's a total nightmare of different friendships and all seem to be full of sass.
Never had this with my son. Boys are so much easier.

Well exactly @Moonnstars , I really didn’t want to enter into the whole girls are full of DRAMA cliche, but we just don’t have this with her year 5 brother and his mates. Sure there’s stuff he gets knarked about, and I’m starting to pick up on a bit of needling from some of his pals. But it all moves on quickly, and with zero conflict really.

Feel like it’s a real shame. My school experience was definitely coloured by the intensity of girl friendships. Was hoping DD could avoid the same.

Yep .... welcome to female puberty.
It's a barrel of fun 🙄
Yr 4 was definitely the start.
You just have to breathe through it. It will be over in about a decade....

Noooooo😩

As a parent and a teacher I honestly don’t think girls are worse than boys for this. I’ve taught some very ‘catty’ boys but nobody uses that word with them. And I’ve taught plenty of level-headed girls.

My daughter is the same and gets caught in the middle. She hates it all and wishes they would all just get along. What can you say but welcome to life my darling.

I don't think the boys are any better, they're constant falling out and they get physical much more quickly with it too. I fear anything getting physical with the girls.

That’s great to hear. My hope was that it isn’t actually the big picture case, and just my small experience with dd and ds’s friendship groups.

As a year 4 teacher and a mother of teenage girl (who thankfully isn't patt of this) this is your future now. It is also the reason all my friends were boys as a kid 🤣

Yes, this is when it starts. Teachers commented the same. So much drama with the girls. The boy’s generally just get on with it.

School years 4 to 8 are often hideous with girls.

Girls can be so nasty, I've noticed it with even very young girls as young a 3 at my DCs nursery

Yes the same here.

I can’t believe just how unkind they can be ‘no you can’t play with us today’ but no reason.

Ive been working with mine a lot on this, trying to explain you can’t have too many friends, try someone else, make sure if it’s happening to someone else you try and step in and play with them so they might remember your kindness next time it’s happening to you etc etc.

I have also found though that some of the parents don’t help! Bloody stirring it up unnecessarily.