Can't do anything right

[Horsewench]

I go to see my daughter once a week. She's recently had a 2nd baby so I try to help but I'm always doing the wrong thing. She said she wants me to look after baby so she gets time with toddler then yells at me when I'm not looking after the toddler. I realise she's having a tough time but I don't know what to do. Im also having a tough time with depression so am I just being too sensitive

Tell your daughter to wind her neck in and see to both her kids if she’s not happy with how you do it. If she can’t cope with two, she shouldn’t have had 2.

@Horsewench

"I try to help but I'm always doing the wrong thing

then yells at me when I'm not looking after the toddler

Im also having a tough time with depression"

An adult conversation with your daughter, from both perspectives, could help you both?

YANBU. She should be counting herself lucky that you are helping her out once a week!

Is this normal behaviour from her? Or do you think it’s simply because she’s had a baby and hormonally all over her the place?

Keep in kind that sometimes we take out our frustration on the ones we love/ trust the most. But if she has always been like this then you don’t deserve it.

She has always said what she thinks and is quite bossy. I just feel like a naughty child. Im getting to the point I don't want to go over there but I love my family

Being bossy is one thing, but being mean to someone who is helping you out is another. Because you don’t speak up she may feel that it’s fine to treat you like this.

Can you have an honest conversation with her? Or just pull her up on her behaviour when she does make comments?

@Horsewench if she's being unreasonable, why don't you feel you can be assertive with her?

Being passive won't resolve the situation.

You teach people how to treat you - by what you are prepared to put up with. If she yells at you, get up and leave, every single time. You can say to her 'I'm here to help you and I love to see you and the children but I won't stay here to be yelled at, that's unacceptable'.