To remove DD14 mobile phone

[Starynightskyblackforest]

I am not sure if I am overeating so looking for advice.

DD has had a couple of episodes when she has got upset about something, and then saying she wanted to die and scratched herself a bit. We went to the doctor and she got a referral for the psychiatrist paediatrician (private insurance)

I don’t think she is depressed as she is still engaging, looking after herself, going to school. However she is a sensitive child and I noticed she enjoys listening to sad/depressive music and I am concern about this becoming obsessive.

She has screen time but it doesn’t seen to work for Spotify.

Her self steam is also a bit low. She has not been entirely happy at school but is still going. She is moving to another school in September, a performing arts/creative school which starts in year 10. We feel this will suit her better.

Not sure what other controls to put on her mobile phone.

I have a friend who didn’t give her children smartphones until they were 16 and I admire her for it. I think kids are too young to navigate the amount of information there is online, on top of puberty, peer pressure, academic pressure, etc. on the other hand I don’t want to isolate her.

Bump

I can't advise re: the phone as my DC are 7, but did just want to say how depression 'looks' isn't a one size fits all; there are different levels of depression.
I am, however, trying to be an armchair psychiatrist/psychologist!
Sad/depressive music can actually be quite soothing when one is struggling (well, it is for me!).

Aren't you keeping an eye on her phone activity? Is she being bullied? It sounds like she suffers from emotional dysregulation, so I'd focus on improving it. Does she get plenty of fresh air and exercise? Hobbies?

For the sake of my health, I need to step out into the garden after reading your post.

Thought this too. Try and get her off the phone as much as possible and communicate with her how much she’s got coming to look forward to! And I’d be trying to get her into as many hobbies as I can xx

"Sad/depressive" music as you call it can actually have the opposite effect you might think. When I'm feeling down I often put on the 'saddest' songs I can to try and feel better.

The fact you say you don't 'think' she is depressed is a bit worrying, I think you need start talking to her so you know what she's thinking as much as a 14 year old girl will tell you

Thank you. That is interesting

Thank you. This is helpful.

Some of the songs that concerned me were:

Love homicide
Bleed it out
Never want to stop being sad

Thank you. I appreciate this. We are trying to spend as munch time with her as possible, and she seems better.

I have spoken to her and the issues is that she feels a bit lonely; she has some friends she talks to a school but said she doesn’t have many close friends. She goes to a school further away and this doesn’t help. She has a very close friends locally she does socialice with sometimes.

She also has a speech and language disorder which is not severe but this has impacted her confidence; being bottom of the class, having TA in certain subjects. She feels everyone in the house is smart, except her and question why she has this additional need.

She is moving to a more creative school and we hope this will make a difference. We encourage activities she enjoys, spend time with her and are very proud of her and her achievements.

I don’t think she is doing enough exercise at the moment. She said she will go back to the gym. I am going to encourage her more,

I am checking her phone and she does have screen restrictions but I think I need to put more.

She said she is not being bullied but said she was bullied in primary.

Very helpful. Thank you 😅