I work in data science in public sector, senior manager with dozens of direct reports. My friend is a NHS nurse/manager of nurses in ICU ward.
She often tells me I get paid more than her for doing nothing. I don’t know how much she earns but I think she searched my civil service grade salary online. My job requires regular travel across the country, and the policy area is subject to regular public scrutiny so can be demanding. I also work with difficult colleagues at all levels, so I definitely don’t have an easy job, in fact I’m actively job hunting as the atmosphere is awful and I hate the travel.
However my friend (without me prompting), constantly goes on at how horrible her job is. She is suffering with back pain as a result of work, hates her management and direct reports, is very stressed, has no work-life balance etc. I understand she’s in a difficult and thankless role, but she’s also been relentlessly ranting about the same people/job for years with no desire to change anything. She does not want to leave the hospital she is based at. Aibu to be sick of the ranting now?
It dominates every conversation we have. I don’t talk about my work with her anymore, but she’ll always find a way to cycle it back to her job. I’m not sure how to respond. In the past, I have done everything from agree to her that her job is more difficult/important, thanked her, checked if she is okay, given her pep talks, been a listening ear, asked if she’s looking for alternative work, suggested jobs in my company etc. She is often unable to reply to messages or socialise due to her job. So the friendship feels one-sided.