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Original poster

Taking my kids abroad

17 replies

Carol41556 · 29/06/2025 18:50

I haven't had contact with my child's father for over 4 years, it wasn't a relationship as such, but more coercion and control, he hasn't seen his kids at all in 4 years, only 2 of them he is on their birth certificate ages 6 and 5, I have just booked a holiday to Gran Canaria and then read that I need his permission 😭 is this right? He currently in prison, and would never be near my children now as he is a drug addict, domestic abuser and also a very dangerous individual. I know I can apply to the court but has anyone took their children abroad without all this hassle, I'm absolutely gutted, I do not want him to know where we stay due to safety reasons, let alone contact him to ask permission

OP posts:
POTC · 30/06/2025 03:07

Do the children have your surname?

jeaux90 · 30/06/2025 06:28

If they have your surname you probably won’t get asked. If they have his then you probably will get asked if you have permission to take them.

Either way I would advise you to get to court and get this resolved. I have been in a similar situation in the past, getting to court is the cleanest way.

One of my friends also had this situation and just faked the letter with his signature. I went to court as I wanted a permanent solution.

Original poster
Carol41556 · 30/06/2025 09:23

POTC · 30/06/2025 03:07

Do the children have your surname?

Yes we all have same surname

OP posts:
Original poster
Carol41556 · 30/06/2025 09:24

Carol41556 · 29/06/2025 18:50

I haven't had contact with my child's father for over 4 years, it wasn't a relationship as such, but more coercion and control, he hasn't seen his kids at all in 4 years, only 2 of them he is on their birth certificate ages 6 and 5, I have just booked a holiday to Gran Canaria and then read that I need his permission 😭 is this right? He currently in prison, and would never be near my children now as he is a drug addict, domestic abuser and also a very dangerous individual. I know I can apply to the court but has anyone took their children abroad without all this hassle, I'm absolutely gutted, I do not want him to know where we stay due to safety reasons, let alone contact him to ask permission

Myself and their dad have the same surname also.. We are not married, just a coincidence

OP posts:
Holditcowboy · 30/06/2025 09:29

I don’t know what the law is but I can’t imagine you’d face many difficulties unless you had different surnames . (This has happened to me lots travelling in Europe, we do have different surnames )

Ellapse · 30/06/2025 09:35

I took my DS abroad multiple times as a single mum, with no issues. His dad wasn't on his birth cert but nobody at the airport ever asked to see it so they had no idea of he was on it or not. We have the same surname and we have a clear family resemblance.

Owlteapot · 30/06/2025 09:38

Dss mum recently took them abroad without telling dh. They have dh surname and he is named on birth certificate.
Dc say they didn't get questioned at airport, not saying this is always the case of course.
We knew nothing until dss text from Spain about their surprise holiday!

MidnightPatrol · 30/06/2025 09:45

I’ve travelled loads alone with my children and never been asked for any kind of evidence.

If you have the same surname, it won’t draw any attention.

Hardlyworking · 30/06/2025 12:21

Just take a copy of their birth certificates, and if asked say he is estranged and you haven't seen him for years and don't know where he is.

You won't be asked.

jeaux90 · 30/06/2025 12:34

People saying you definitely won’t get asked, this is not true I have been asked. Even after my DD has her name changed to mine. I had to show the CAO/court order. It’s rare but it does happen.

MageQueen · 30/06/2025 12:39

technically you need his permission.

In reality, it's very very unlikely to be an issue. I have been asked a few times why I am travelling, where the DC's dad is etc - probalby partly because we don't have the same surname - but the most I've ever been asked to do is produce proof that I am their mother in the form of a birth certificate.

There are countries where the rules are stricter - South Africa - for example, but I think pretty much across Europe it's fine. ironcally, I've been most quizzed on my return usually.

I would recommend in your case that at some point you formaise yourself as the one in charge. Just to avoid any uncertainty down the line.

anotherside · 22/07/2025 12:49

Couldn’t agree more

Jojimoji · 22/07/2025 13:01

I used to fly in and out of UK and Spain with my son alone when he was a kids
We don't have the same surname.
My son doesn't even have the same nationality, his passport is Spanish. Mine is British.

I was never once questioned or asked anything.

BleuBeans · 22/07/2025 13:03

I’ve been abroad several times with my DD on my own and never been asked for permission for a second adult. We also don’t have the same surname

diterictur · 22/07/2025 13:10

Surnames aren't relevant.

Some people will get stopped but most people won't. They look at a range of risk factors. E.g. my DH who shares a surname with the kids was stopped taking the kids on his to the country he was born in and holds citizenship - clearly a higher risk there of child abduction (I thought this might happen so he had a letter which included my phone number, they called me from the border.)

Chances are that you'll be fine, especially travelling to somewhere like the Canaries.

Morecoffeethanks · 22/07/2025 13:10

I take mine back and forth solo every six weeks or so as we live in Europe but I’m British I have never been asked for fathers permission to travel even when kids are travelling on passports of a different nationality to mine. I would take the chance if I were you, you have a return flight booked and are travelling to a holiday destination, their are no red flags at all.

mondaytosunday · 22/07/2025 13:34

I’ve travelled with my kids loads of times to various countries and never been asked if I have their fathers’ permission.

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