To go away by myself for Christmas?

[Help987]

I hate Christmas. Neither of my parents really liked it so it was never made special for us growing up. I don't have any of the fond family childhood Christmas memories that everyone I know has. I dread it every year, the forced family time together, the shitty family dynamics and the horrible tension. Is it unreasonable if I just tell my small family, im not going to be there and I book myself a night or two in an air b and b or something and hide until its all over? My mum will miss me but she'll understand, the others might be annoyed but thats about it.

About 3 years ago I went to Devon by myself. My partner had died in tragic circumstances the year before. I had invitations to go to friends and family but declined. So glad I went. Go for it.

Might your mum like to come with you?

Go for it.

But do something that you'll actively enjoy if possible rather than just hiding out until it's over.

You don't have to like Christmas to enjoy 25th December.

Absolutely do it OP.

I know of several people that have opted out by booking somewhere lovely, getting picky food and having a movie day.

Sounds heavenly!

Christmas on my own is lovely - I do it every year. I get in loads of champagne, smoked salmon, Quality Street and my favourite snacks. I chill on the sofa and binge on a good TV series or films. No stress, no family tension, just sheer lazy comfort and nice stuff. Go for it!

(We do have a family get together in January - somehow it’s less loaded with expectation when it’s not actually Christmas, so we have fun and enjoy it.)

Do you have children who live with you ? Or a partner ? You haven’t mentioned but thought I’d ask the question.

You sound like my friends.
Refuse kindly any invitations on the day, they love to do their own thing.
Made it clear to family and friends no gifting at all.

As a group of friends we go out for a slap up meal where we divide the bill up, thats our Christmas gift to each other.

We all have enough stuff.

Who are the others involved?

I do exactly this at Christmas, and have done for six years now... It's brilliant!
Totally relaxed, doing what you want, when you want, eating, drinking, watching whatever you fancy without any issues.
I meet up with friends before Christmas and with family at New Year/1st week of January - works perfectly for me.
Although you until now, my actual Christmas has been spent at home, I'd 100% be up for booking a trip away.
OP, why not just give it a go? You might love it, you might hate it... If the latter, just don't do it again!
Hope you enjoy whatever you decide 😊

I go away for a week to a place that is very special to me. And love it

I’d do this if my circumstances were different!

I’d stay somewhere lovely, go to church in the morning for a blast of carols, have M&S canapés and treats all day and watch lovely Christmassy films.

My sister did this after she divorced, as she wanted a completely different Christmas to her 'married' ones. She went to different places here and abroad, but her very favourite one was in York. The atmosphere was so special, she stayed in a hotel opposite the Minster and went to Midnight Mass, then back to the hotel for hot toddies and a mince pie!

I completely get and say, yes, do it.

These past few years DH and I have gone away for the week and come back in time for NYE. So much less stressful.

Flights on Christmas Day are often cheaper if you want some sun!

We went away for Christmas last year myself and my two kids. I know it's not the same as going on your own but I would totally go myself in your position

DH and I did a few christmases just us 2 in our house even before DD came along due to the circus our families expect (like not listening to it being “their turn” to feed us, so needing to eat a full turkey dinner at lunch and another at dinner time as they always ate at different times…among many others).

We have done some Christmases with them over the years, but many on our own, as we pleased. And a few of those, we’ve gone away.

There was grief the first year, but we stuck to our guns ans now we mostly get asked if we will be “home” this year or doing our own thing, rather than, not even demanded but just expected and “bring this with you when you come from your place” expectations. So it is nice to have some boundaries respected.

We are also not ‘that family’ and I find Christmas Day absolutely unbearable. I can’t wait to do this, unfortunately I still have a young DC at home so still have to bear it for a few more years yet. I’m jealous OP!

Okay, thanks everyone. I feel sad that I even want to consider this as I'd love to just have a relatively normal family that I'd actually want to spend Christmas day with. But that makes me sad every year to be fair.