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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for help in sourcing articles on skin tone in Indian ppl

1 reply

Angels1111 · 29/06/2025 10:44

My partner and I were having a discussion on skin tones, as he keeps telling our DCs not to go out in the sun too much in case they get dark.

This has come from the Indian community valuing and praising light-skinned people, and from his experience of being the only Indian kid at school and being bullied for it.

His point is that kids should be taught how to look good as they get judged on it, eg he works in sales and needs a neat haircut, to wear deodorant etc and he sees having lighter skin as part of that. He said that whether we like it or not we ARE judged on the colour of our skin.

My view is that
a) young children don't need to worry about how they'll be seen in the workplace, and should just play freely,
b) skin tone is different to being tidy and hygienic
c) we shouldn't be perpetuating prejudices brought over from India / Bollywood
d) DCs generation may not have the same prejudices our generation does re skin colour, especially if we (parents) don't go on about it like our parents/grandparents did.

BUT I feel like because I am light skinned Indian and grew up with more mixes of race around me I was less affected by prejudices. Although to me, this issue is no different to putting women under massive pressure to diet / men under massive pressure to bulk up because being slim /muscly is put on a pedestal etc and should be something we fight against, so I can relate from a different angle and had a different response (fight against society norms rather than conform to them).

AIBU? Could you help me find articles to support either side?

Ps this is separate to protecting your skin from UV/getting burnt/etc which we both agree on.

OP posts:
ItssssAMeMariooo92 · 29/06/2025 15:01

I'm indian and also light skinned but my siblings have dark skin. Growing up, my sister was always told she is pretty for a dark person and my brother however didnt get any comments as he is ten years younger than my sister and was the cute little boy.

I have a mixed race child who is half Jamaican and my mum told me to drink milk when I was pregnant because it would mean he had light skin. He is only 8.

Your husband is right in that in the indian community, the skin tone is still something that causes lots of insecurities but he is wrong to put those on to his children. Instead, he should be breaking the cycle as it is clearly impacting him.

We live in a society now where people want to have tanned skin etc and it makes me so mad that our culture still takes skin tone into account.

Fwiw, I'm 32 and my cousins of a similar age are darker and they had so many insecurities growing up and still do. Please don't let your children face the same challenges.

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