To think this secondary sports day is pointless?

[Laughingontheinside]

Secondary school sports day is coming up.
Kids can put their names down for a sport but they don’t have to.
Places per sport are limited anyway.
They still all have to walk to the offsite athletics field (20 minutes walk each way) in PE kit, and sit and watch if they are not participating. No normal lessons, it’s the whole day.
No phones allowed (this is fine, they aren’t allowed anyway in school).
Not allowed to read a book, do homework, do anything else, just sit.
The seating is concrete steps under a large canopy but the sun comes under it as it moves through the day.
They don’t go back to the school for lunch, they need to carry all their stuff with them.

What exactly is the point of this?
DS is quite happy as he has a nice group of friends and says he will just sit and talk to them all day, but isn’t happy about the temperatures predicted or the seating. He has not signed up for any sport and neither have his friends.

DD has declared that she is not going, and will make herself sick if necessary. She hates people, hates change, and hates PE. She went in y7, y8 was cancelled due to extreme heat, and y9 she was ill but admitted later that she made herself vomit. I do not want this to become a bigger thing.
I’m inclined to just tell her to sack it off as I can’t see any reason to make her go.
Attendance is 99% for the year, so no issues around that, and she is predicted 7+ in all her subjects. This would be the last sports day, I don’t think it’s worth a battle over.

I agree.

A lesson for life that you sometimes will do things you think are a waste of time. Boring meetings for example at work.

So I think both of your children should go.

Pointless. Either have a participatory day with something that children of all abilities can feel engaged with or make it a day like you describe but you choose whether you want to participate. Children who don't want to participate could stay in school. I'm not sending my autistic daughter in on sports day this year as the PE staff never make the adjustments for her that are in her plan.

I think that your DD has far more issues than the this sports day, OP..

She’s going to have an awfully hard life if you allow her to keep going the way she is. Making yourself sick to get out of sitting at sports day is really quite alarming. You simply accepting it is even more so!

We just used to go and sit and chat with our mates and have a day or afternoon out of lessons. Fond memories!

you really make your daughter sound absolutely awful. Does she mostly hate everything, in which case maybe sports day is the least of your worries?

They can get engaged with supporting the competitors can’t they? You know, like thousands of people do at every sporting event?
It’s not practical to have half the school inside, the supervision doesn’t work. I hated sports myself at school but sports day itself isn’t bad x just sit and socialise with friends and cheer people on a bit. I was also a teacher, and the supervision isn’t all that much fun but you can make it ok.
I agree those with SN which make it impossible for them to sit and socialise comfortably should be accommodated, but every school I worked at did that, either by finding them jobs if they wanted to be out and having a small group in the SN base for those who couldn’t be out.

DD is delightful, btw. Just incredibly introverted. She goes to school to do the work, which she does well and to a high standard. Teachers love her and say she is a delight to have in every class. She is very academic but prone to anxiety and has in the past made herself sick and hurt herself.

So I am choosing to pick my battles here, because I don’t think missing this day is a bad thing at all. I maintain that it is completely pointless and potentially harmful.

The point is to have a bit of competition and allow those who are good at athletics to demonstrate. It’s not ‘pointless’. It’s a community event.
It’s onlynpotentially harmful to a very small number of young poeple, and yes, they should be accommodated. I’d have no problem with keeping your DD home in that case - it’s over reacting to cancel it for everyone though. More enjoy it (the sport or the social side) than don’t in my (long) experience of schools.

I personally hated sports day at secondary school. Apart from the few athletically gifted kids, all the events were filled up by the 'ard (disruptive little shits) kids so it would be the one day a year they participated in something without kicking off. It was so unfair, the rest of us didn't get a look in.
It was the one day a year my strict mum would let me take off. All my friend group were mysteriously struck down with some affliction on that day every year beyond year 8.

Or having to attend Sports Days because 'It's an All Staff event'.

Does she have friends? It sounds like a picnic type event where there are races/events to watch. A typical summer experience like Wimbledon or Ascot but for teens. Can’t she sit with her friends and chat the afternoon away?

My autistic DD1 would not be able to do this due her disability and complete lack of friends. It would be torture.

I never participated in sports day as I was awful at sport. But we made banners and cheered on the people representing our form group. Isn’t that the point of having spectators?

I don’t think it was all day though and that does seem boring. If she is really unhappy about it then I don’t think it’s unreasonable to keep her off. Making herself sick is quite an extreme reaction. Does she have no friends to sit with?

Pointless. I didn’t bother going to mine either as I’ve never been the sporty type.

This comment always gets my back up , kids aren't stupid , at secondary they are pretty much aware of this .
I actively avoid things that waste my time if i can and i'm more than happy for my 3 to do the same .
It's one day that's not going to make a scrap of difference other than to relieve them of a hot ,tedious boring few hours.
It pisses me off that kids are expected to be the life and soul social butterflies participating in every school activity going ,when a very large proportion who go to school begrudgingly just want to get the day done and come home to peace and quiet if they're lucky.

Or find jobs without meetings which you find boring.

Sounds like a nice day out

I'd keep her off. If she isn't doing a sport, what's the point of sitting out in the heat all day, slowly getting skin cancer?

Don’t send your daughter, but it doesn’t mean sports day is pointless for everyone.

Our secondary school sports day was a bit like this. No lessons for the afternoon, everyone out on the field to watch, even if you weren't in any events.

What's not to like! I wasn't a sporty kid and only ever entered events in the younger years when I was still under the illusion I might be any good at them. I still welcomed sports day as a chill afternoon and a break from routine.

OP if your DD is hurting herself and making herself vomit to avoid things she dislikes you have bigger issues than sports day to tackle

I wouldn’t make my child do something they made themselves vomit to avoid.

If i was contemplating hurting myself to get out of something at work, I’d call in sick, and probably look for a new job.

Yeah, one delight about getting older is that you can not do stuff because it's a waste of time/bloody boring/valueless. Better to say No, I'm not sitting through another pointless meeting rather than waste time sitting there, surely? So best of luck to her OP, don't let others steal her time.

DD is delightful, btw. Just incredibly introverted.

but prone to anxiety and has in the past made herself sick and hurt herself.

No! Self harming is not just "incredibly introverted". I cant believe how much you're downplaying this!

Actually we do this at my school. It's a fab day everyone makes banners, does face paint and cheers for their house. It's just a really nice thing for the school community. If they're not being forced to do sports then it's fun for everyone. Also year groups get to mix which they don't do much.

Theres lots of value in this for the school community and sense of belonging

Like @5foot5 our secondary sports day was like this.

As a thoroughly non-sporty person, I loved it. We got to sit on the field and chat, clapping the sports from time to time, and got a cup of squash and a biscuit. It was great.
It was run as a house competition and we were told to clap our house, not specific people which meant that there wasn't the personal aspect to those who took part.

Much better than insisting all take part.

My dc's school does it in an evening, quite a distance from the school (fairly nice athletics track) and voluntary. They always have a good number of people taking part. My dc never wanted to, so they didn't.